Because America leads the world in news, it is incumbent upon us to periodically review current events so that when an undocumented immigrant stops you on the street and asks, what the hell is going on, you’ll know.
This may also come in handy on your ACT, SAT or POS test.
1. According to former North Dakota GOP chairman and current Republican U.S. Senate candidate Gary Emineth, Barack Obama is a POS, which, as he explained, means:
2. Things you can get for $37,000 in North Dakota:
3. What the hell is going on with Wall Street?
4. Things in the Democrats’ Even More Secreter Memo than the Republicans’ Top Secret Memo that cannot be revealed:
5. Former President Bush said it is obvious that Russia:
6. According to FactCheck.org, Heidi Heitkamp wasn’t high-fiving Chuck Schumer after a Senate vote on reproductive rights, she was:
7. Reasons a parade in Washington, D.C., is such a great idea:
8. Things you can eat in Philadelphia:
9. Reasons not to get a flu shot:
10. What the groundhog saw:
BONUS: Things better organized than the Democrats:
OK That was a toughie. Shocked? Some of you look like you spent the night celebrating a Super Bowl win, or rioting on Wall Street. Let’s check your answers. 1. C; 2. D; 3. B; 4. A; 5. B; 6. B; 7. C; 8. D; 9. C; 10. C; Bonus: A.
Now for grading. 11-9 correct: How did you get your hands the Democrats’ memo? 6-8 correct: Very stable geniusing. 3-5 correct: I see you did this in crayon. 0-2 correct: Fret not, if you can cover tuition, you’ll still be able to get into Trump University.
© Tony Bender, 2018