I realize we’re in our post-election honeymoon period during which everyone has amnesia or hangovers, and platitudes are the order of the day, but in consideration of journalistic integrity — if we’re still doing that — honesty is in order. We can’t “sane-tize” this. This has been the weirdest damn thing. And it may get even weirder. I went to …
They seemed to know. The swallows began an arial ballet outside my living room window the moment I opened my laptop to mourn. Ten of them, maybe 15 acrobats, engaged in a celebration, perhaps. Maybe a tribute. It transported me back to my grandmother’s last day. I was wheeling her along in the sunshine outside of the hospital when a …
Let’s start with a basic fact. Democracy cannot exist without the rule of law. The concept that no one is above the law. And America cannot exist without democracy. Our founders bristled at the arbitrary dictates of a king an ocean away. Americans fought and died in World War II to ensure democracy and its hallmark, free elections, the peaceful …
I doubt many of us consider what Labor Day is about or think about what the labor movement did to build the middle class. It astonishes me that people who’ve unwittingly benefited from unions spend so much time demonizing them. Government statistics will tell you that a union worker’s family gets 10% to 15% higher wages, and they bring nonunion …
You’re holding in your hand something akin to a miracle in an increasingly authoritarian world, a reflection of incredible foresight on the parts of the Founding Fathers. They understood that democracy couldn’t exist if the voice of the governed was stifled. Free speech wasn’t an afterthought, it wasn’t the Second Amendment, it was the First. It’s enshrined in the U.S. …
His full name was Squirrel The World’s Grumpiest Cat. He was the boss around here for 19½ years with a grating, tuneless, demanding meow. For a long time, we didn’t know exactly how old he was. You see, we kept his records taped to the inside of kitchen cabinet, and when we pondered his age years ago, India mistook the …
I love gadgetry. I have remotes to run my remote controls. It’s not perfect, though. I discovered that my Apple TV remote volume control triggers my new Chinese-made CD player. And everyone’s worried about TikTok. Yes, they still make CD players. I mean, what was I going to do with all those CDs I bought to replace all those vinyl …
I was saddened when my mother told me that JoAnn Derry had passed away. She was 90. Her obituary described her as “a firecracker with grit and determination.” Yup. That was her, all right. I met her in Sunday School at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Frederick, S.D., in 1968. I was misbehaving one day — hard to imagine, I …
One of the dirty little secrets about the American legal system is that might, that is money, often makes “right.” Those with the wherewithal can legally and financially exhaust others, effectively punish them with frivolous lawsuits. That seems to be the case with one of the unsung good guys in North Dakota, Jim Fuglie. Jim is a former reporter for …
“Of course, I’m just a wild-eyed liberal,” I said sarcastically during a conversation with a conservative friend one day. “No, you’re a moderate,” she said. “You just seem liberal in McIntosh County.” Perhaps so. On social issues, I think government ought to stay out of the bedroom, doctor’s offices and out of our personal lives in general. I don’t believe …
A controversial pipeline to transport toxic waste across McIntosh County is inching closer to reality. Representatives of Summit Carbon Solutions, the pipeline developer, updated the McIntosh County Commission on their progress earlier this month during the commission’s regular monthly meeting. The $4.5 billion carbon-capture pipeline, if it can overcome significant opposition, would transport liquid CO2 from 32 ethanol plants across …
There was a spot between the bullpen and the concession stand at the 17th Annual Ashley PRCA Rodeo last weekend where the wafting odors of manure and seared burgers competed, and somehow, strangely, to the olfactory of this child of the prairie, it was heaven. We pause, here in Ashley, N.D., the first weekend in August to just be, unabashedly, …
I love my country. Despite many missteps — slavery and Indian genocide being the two main stains on our record — America remains a bastion of freedom. But not necessarily common sense. This is a space I typically reserve for human-interest columns, the fun, foibles, idiosyncrasies and beauty of life. If you want my take on current events, that’s available …
My friend Jack McDonald received an award at the North Dakota Newspaper Association convention last Friday for his tireless legal defense of freedom of the press. Our freedom. Your freedom. We listened in the great ballroom, elbows on white tablecloths among the cake crumbs and carcasses of Chicken Cordon Bleu. In his speech, Jack pondered the “what if’s” in life. …
When I was a kid, Whitey, Gare Bare, Hawkeye and I would play football in the snowbanks beside my house. Because we had brain damage. Tackle football in subarctic temperatures didn’t help. The end result is my career choices came down to either column-writing or politics, but I still had too many healthy brain cells for the latter. You don’t …
I rarely write anything political in this space these days — these columns are published in three states as well as in the two newspapers I own. I much prefer writing stories about the people I’ve met and the experiences we share on the northern Plains. I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a political slant in our news coverage. …
In the end, I was thankful for what seemed like the thankless task of coaching a first-year women’s softball team in Jamestown, N.D., in 1985. Early on, I realized I had just one very good ballplayer, a third-baseman named Margo, who carried herself like Geena Davis in “A League of Our Own.” We had an OK shortstop, one outfielder who …
I sat under a partly sunny sky on Father’s Day contemplating fatherhood. I awoke to a text and Father’s Day greetings from Dylan who started it all for me nearly 25 years ago. He was on vacation in the Black Hills. India was still snoozing after a bachelorette party at Green Lake. She was pretty chipper when she went to …
My eyes fluttered awake to the early-morning coos of mourning doves and a halo of light from the window. “Oh, it’s Memorial Day,” I remembered from somewhere in my cavernous REM slumber. I creaked to the cold kitchen in a season in which it’s too warm to run the furnace and too cold for my bones. I was desperate for …
Those of us of a certain vintage grew up without fear of polio because Jonas Salk’s vaccine against that awful virus went into distribution in 1955, quickly eradicating the disease in America. But many of us grew up seeing and knowing polio victims, many of them irreparably crippled, some unable to walk, others with atrophied limbs. There was no great …
Hey friends, well, it’s been two months since I announced my cancer diagnosis on the eve of major surgery at Mayo Clinic. Since then, I’ve received a steady stream of cards, well-wishes, and prayers, and they’re working because I’m doing great. Thank you! I don’t plan to spend a lot of time in the future doing play-by-play on my recovery, …
You’re killing me. I’m not saying it’s intentional, but in the end, dead is dead. Many of you just don’t get it. After seven months and 220,000 dead Americans, nearly four times as many as we lost in Vietnam, I still hear people say they won’t wear a mask because they don’t care if they die. Well, I don’t care …
Thales Latimer Secrest. “Tom” Secrest was my friend for 30 years, yet somehow I never knew his given name. Good thing, too, because I would’ve called him Latimer. He’d have hated it, but he would have grinned because he appreciated cruel humor — even at his expense. Such was the nature of our friendship, and the best friendships, I think, …
Well, it’s time for my annual post-Mother’s Day column. I don’t think I’ve ever managed to publish a column before Mother’s Day because, frankly, I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants so long my butt should have wings and a parachute. I suppose I deserve some credit. At least I’m writing this on Mother’s Day. In the interest …
I think I’ll have my morning coffee on the patio. But not this morning. It’s foggy, windy and 43 degrees — conditions I would have appreciated in February, but we lose our sense of perspective each spring, don’t we? Even on the Northern Plains we feel entitled to fair weather. Can you imagine how insufferable Floridians must be? On Monday, …
Hey folks, if you’re like me, a natural social-distancer, not much has changed except now I have an excuse. Well, OK, a few things have changed. I’ve had so much time on my hands I actually felt compelled to bake bread last week — beer bread, specifically. I’d still be in the kitchen, but I ran out of Grain Belt. …
You’re not helping. I know, you heard from a friend of a friend of a friend whose dad knows a guy, but let me tell you what reporting is like from the professional side of things. We can’t print it, or broadcast it, or blog it, if we can’t document it. Why? Because it would be irresponsible. After you’ve worked …
If you’re like me, you stock up on sale items. It’s good habit to have. So, even before the pandemic and social distancing, I’ve had a full pantry. The novelty of Schwann’s offerings, as good as they are, has worn off, and I wanted to make something hearty and healthy. So “Whatever is in the Pantry Vegetable Soup,” it is. …
You may remember the television series, “The Waltons,” a Depression-era slice of Americana based on Earl Hamner’s experiences in the Virginia hills. The series reflected one family’s good-natured resilience and resourcefulness in hard times. Every evening when the lights were turned off, the stillness was broken by voices saying good night. I imagine it in these times: “Good night, Grandpa.” …
I’d like to wish all my friends a Merry Christmas. Here’s a story I wrote in 2005. The clatter was tremendous. Decorative brass fireplace implements clanged off the brick hearth and a fine black cloud of soot billowed, and when it had cleared, there stood a man who looked just like the one in the Christmas cards — right down …
OK, so The Triumvirate (Mom and my sisters) decreed that we’d have German food for Christmas. My three brothers and I are not consulted on decisions of such import, even though we constitute a majority, but we don’t have to cook, either. It may be a simple matter of public safety. It’s a relatively benevolent dictatorship — Mom and her …
We all know how this works. The older we get the more often we’re reminded of it. Each entrance begets an exit. We contemplate these things as grandparents and parents get slow and gray, as we track the lines in our face in the mirror some mornings. But I never imagined a world without Gary Edwin Schlosser in it. Gare …
By now, video of the confrontation at the Lincoln Memorial has been examined more closely than the Zapruder Film, and the gaslighting of America is complete. You really didn’t see what you saw. Sen. Kevin Cramer, R-N.D., in his ongoing inspirational battle against the First Amendment, encouraged lawsuits against the media for misinterpeting the video. “Those kids did nothing wrong,” …
The campaign for 2020 is in its infancy, but I’m close to eliminating one candidate — Elizabeth Warren. Not because she’s a Harvard professor or any of the inevitable pretense that comes with academia. It really comes down to inauthenticity. Her painfully awkward live streaming on New Year’s Eve was an attempt to ingratiate herself to “regular folk” by opening …
Every legislative session, there should be kiosks in the malls to sell Lisinopril because Lord knows my blood pressure sure goes up. In North Dakota, any maniac can propose a bill. Well, not just any maniac off the street — elected maniacs. Take, for instance, Senate Bill 2136, sponsored by Sen. Oley Larsen, R-Minot, that would force schools to offer …
I’m no psychologist, but Republicans seem unnaturally obsessed with New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. They’ve spent an inordinate amount of time telling everyone what an inconsequential airhead she is. She was dismissed as “a little girl” by GOP strategist Ed Rollins. I dunno, a 29-year-old knocking off a 10-term incumbent sounds consequential to me, but then I find Tomi Lahren …
I’m going to type very slowly so you can keep up. Don’t get me wrong, I used to think North Dakotans were even more above average than residents of Lake Wobegone, blessed with sound cognitive abilities. According to some legislators, I was wrong, so I’ll try to keep this as monosyllabic as possible. Republicans in the North Dakota Legislature have …
I’m on an early deadline. Happy New Year, folks! Out with the old and in with the new! And that has nothing to do with cleaning my refrigerator. True story: A couple of years ago, my daughter discovered some Italian dressing with an expiration date that coincided with Obama’s inauguration. Really. Since it was basically oil and vinegar, I insisted …
In the spirit of the season, we bring you one of Tony J Bender’s columns from 2002. The teapot whistled, and the old man rose from his rocking chair by the window where he watched the sunrise. He pulled two cups out of the cupboard, a force of habit developed over 53 years. He filled one cup, dropped an Earl …
I begin today in a self-reflective state of mind at the urging of Kevin Cramer, who took umbrage over criticisms of Precedent Trump’s un-Christianlike behavior at George H. W. Bush’s funeral. Trump didn’t sing, recite the Apostles’ Creed, or offer Michelle Obama even one piece of candy. Apparently, he was fearful of violating her nutritional guidelines. Since she left Washington, …
I’ve about had it with snowflakes and it’s barely December. I saw on Fox News that the #MeToo movement is trying to stamp out romance. What’s under assault is the revered seasonal classic, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” A Cleveland radio station took the song off the air under pressure from radicals in pink hats because it’s about a guy trying …
Far be it for me to complain, but I’m going to complain. Whatever happened to Thanksgiving tradition? There was a time when we remembered the reason for the season — Columbus discovering the Pilgrims. And it was more than an excuse to buy LED televisions the size of garage doors. We didn’t say, “Happy Holidays,” we said, “Happy Thanksgiving,” and …
Hey slackers, did you really think you were going to get away without a current events review before the semester ends? Oh, no — Jim Acosta is back, so you know the fake news spigot is going to be running wide open. Pull up a desk, kids, stow the cell phone, grab a No. 2 pencil, eyes straight ahead and …
Bob and I sat, our motorcycles idle, among a quiet group of veterans, waiting for stragglers. But no one came late. Most of us had been there early enough to stretch our legs. A few of us smoked. The veil of fog faded away from the black and green hues of the Black Hills. It looked like rain. Hell, it …