Proclamation on Declaring a National Emergency Concerning the Novel Coronavirus Disease Oval Office: Jan.13, 2020 THE PRESIDENT: My fellow Americans: I sit before you a (cough) humble man — not a hefty man, an obese man or a gingerbread man — just a regular heavily made-up fellow who is going to do the right thing whether the elitist establishment likes it or …
For years after 9/11, President George W. Bush would tell dozens of audiences some variation of his “ocean’s theory of complacent defense.” Like this one from 2002: “No, it’s a different kind of war than our nation has seen in the past. One thing that’s different is oceans no longer keep us safe,” he explained to the folks at the …
Because I can’t stop clicking on Amazon ads with pictures of things I don’t recognize, I know what more things look like than I did last year, which only counts for tots. I spotted the “Future Fork” that is not for eating future meals, as it turned out. It’s a modern, I guess, pitchfork/shovel for moving manure. Amazon recommends that …
There were plenty of reasons that would provoke a normal North Dakotan to vote for the bigoted puffy suit of peacock feathers known as Kevin Cramer over the impossibly more competent, intelligent and productive Heidi Heitkamp. Mainly it was the letter behind Heitkamp’s name that was a provocation. Cramer had no record, so he relied on the letter “T” for …
Saltwater. So abundant. For decades, child global cartographers have gone bonkers when the blue crayon became a nub before ever even getting to the Tropic of Capricorn. Some wannabes outside the map colorization community have suggested that we might be dealing with multicolored gulfs, epicontinental seas and fjords. Purists consider this train of thought to be pure madness. The oceans …
Donald Trump was in Fargo. Again. It was his second visit since June 27, but this time it was to raise money for Kevin Cramer, who is getting shellacked by Heidi Heitkamp in the dollar department. This time, though, he only spoke for about for about 30 minutes. Much of it was pure bullshit, but the small crowd, including a …