RON SCHALOW: Meet Rep. Jeff Hoverson Of The Bastiat Caucus

Pastor Jeff Hoverson lives with his family on a hobby farm near Burlington — according to his Living Word Lutheran Church website — or at 1300 72nd Street SE in Minot if you want to believe the deep state.

Hoverson is disgruntled with Gov. Doug Burgum for playing the science card— by belatedly mandating masks in public spaces— so Rep. Hoverson had no choice but to up the ante and throw down the ”true facts backed up by solid science” card. Beat that Burgum! It’s the infinity plus one to rhetorical purists who demand adjectives. There is no escape.

So Hoverson has Burgum over a barrel — a big boost to his Bastiat bona fides. It’s a formidable position, but there are B.C. Boys superstars with egos, so Hoverson needs to tread lightly.

As far as Bastiat Caucus members go, Reps. Rick Becker and Luke Simons, plus Sen. Oley Larsen — the ‘’Big 3’’ — have rightly been subjected to the most ridicule because of their current bizarre extremist anti-maskism tantrums and also their present hypnotic response to every word the greatest liar of our time speaks, tweets, or emails. It’s noticeable.

Then you have the ‘’Big 3’s’’ general conspiratorial dispositions, their willingness to type every word out loud and their inability to feel dense. Like the Dwight Shrute character from ”The Office.” Or Teddy from ”Bob’s Burgers.”

Anyway, Rep. Jeff Hoverson, B-Minot, may have cracked the starting lineup after spilling some wild stuff to the Minot Daily News. North of normal.

Hoverson is definitely good enough to make the starting five, as are Reps. Daniel Johnston and Dan Ruby, but one of them must deliver the energy in off the bench. Many of the other Bastiat’s prefer to keep a low profile but stay ready to suit up if needed.

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t think a full box of Goobers will do.

Hoverson: “The virus is real but the mitigation of the virus is a bigger threat. We have to get out of the sandbox and quit playing these kid games with masks and pretending that little piece of plastic between us is actually going to do anything.”

It takes a big man to admit the virus is real (and with a reference to a sandbox). after eight months and 275,000 deaths especially when Bastiat brother Simons is still calling the pandemic a hoax perpetrated by an entity— I guess the government— that wants to control sheep for reasons he can’t explain.

Who are the ”we” that pretend a little piece of plastic is going to do anything? Beats me? Is Hoverson talking about the plastic between the customer and cashier at some places? Maybe. But if they use transparent plastic it’s really not a vibe killer and who does it hurt?

Will a quarter-inch sheet of plastic stop any virus from sneaking around the sides? No, but it might catch some. Nobody is pretending otherwise.

“He (Hoverson) said he plans to introduce a bill prohibiting mask mandates and hopes to bring in a retired military, respiratory expert to present the science regarding the ineffectiveness of masks.’’

Unless Rep. Hoverson can see into the future, prohibiting mask mandates would be stupid beyond measure. The next virus could be even worse.

And Hoverson hopes to bring in his own expert. Isn’t that swell? In all the galaxy, Hoverson found the one and only Obi-Wan.

But the real experts at the CDC wrote, “Widespread implementation and enforcement of sustained community mitigation measures, including mask wearing, informed by state and local officials’ continual data monitoring and collaboration can help prevent transmission of SARS-CoV-2 and decrease the numbers of COVID-19 cases.”

Hoverson knows better.

“He (Hoverson) said the state should be focused on therapies such as hydroxychloroquine and immune boosters rather than measures that offer a false sense of security.”

Sounds like the Gen. Trump plan, after he lost interest in the war. Let the virus run free, infect the whole herd and take another million deaths on the chin. Make the Spanish flu pandemic of 1918 look like the Great Queasiness of 1959. Then add the millions who will be saddled with permanent damage to organs including the heart and brain, setting many on a path to an early death.

But barber savant Simons claims, ”99.9 percent that test positive with COVID-19 recover with very little complications or treatment.”

Who can afford not to contract COVID at those odds?

But Luke’s numbers are wrong — the death rate in the U.S. is 2 percent as of Tuesday — and he has no way of knowing about future complications.

Hoverson: “We can do a lot better than what we are doing. North Dakota has an opportunity to be an island of hope, but we can’t do it with this governor.”

An island of hope for what? Less death and chronic illnesses? Not without mitigation efforts.

Hope for a pandemic laced economy? Hope that the public will toss their masks and gather in large groups, ignore the threat, and sing show tunes?

Well, that’s not going to happen.

There will still be superspreaders like the rally-obsessed Trump — he’ll be back and lying at a town near you — and drunken frat boys. What are gonna do? But a majority will avoid unsafe places just as humans have for 250,000 years. It won’t matter how strenuously a small but dangerous coven of knuckleheads eggs on a small slice of the population who will believe anything.

It’s Business 101 for public-facing stores, restaurants and bars. No grime, no gunfire, no vermin, no fights, no ripe shrimp and no commutable diseases.

Normal people expect so much.

5 thoughts on “RON SCHALOW: Meet Rep. Jeff Hoverson Of The Bastiat Caucus”

  • Mcandee December 3, 2020 at 9:42 am

    Amazing. How many other goofy Republicans like Jeff & Luke will be lurking around the Capitol?

  • Martin C. Fredricks IV December 3, 2020 at 12:13 pm

    Well said, as always.

  • Mike December 3, 2020 at 2:33 pm

    Is there a politician in Ward County who is not in a cult?

  • David February 22, 2021 at 12:31 pm

    You do a great job of mocking things you don’t understand. But you are an ideologue, and like most ideologues you assume everyone else is too. You are one who has already made up his mind, (probably based on the faithful god of “majority opinion”), and can’t be bothered with irritatingly mundane concepts like facts or truth. Besides, mocking what we don’t understand is so much easier than educating oneself isn’t it?

    1. Also David February 23, 2021 at 6:26 pm

      Sometimes I think it would be easier to go through life like you. Living a life free of the constraints of science and logic, at one with whomever presents the ideas that inconvenience you the least, nary a wrinkle on your brain.

      Alas, I think I would dislike the taste of Play-Doh.


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