The B.C Boys are still acting mulish — forever steamed over the face masks of the devil — on unsocial media since the beginning of the pandemic.
“Hell no, we won’t go — to Target or any other stow*, unless to buy a mask and buy some matches, and burn the veil all to ashes.”
Visions of lit draft cards and flaming bras dance in their head and the virus history of 1918 is forever not read.
‘’I will paint my face aqua blue from the tip of my nose to the valley of my chin before I ever wear a mask,’’ barks a B.C. Boy “to fool the Walmart greeters and the coppers,’’ which is exactly what Nathan Hale might have said if he had fallen in with the wrong huffing crowd.
Several face painters remain hospitalized from Krylon fumes and require ventilators and psychiatric speculation.
You would think they were being asked to wear a hoop skirt.
So who are these heroes daring enough to say, “I have no beef with the virus, man? I will not fight for the corrupt system, man!”
And ‘’Kristi Noem is my governor, man.”
The North Dakota Bastiat Caucus lawmakers are conscientious objectors in the War on COVID, and they demand a one-sided cease-fire for a smorgasbord of reasons, ranging from the whole thing is a ‘’hoax’’ to ‘’let us all get sick or die.’’
Free speech? It’s not really free or inexpensive if lives lost due to misinformation are worth anything.
“Unconstitutional!” the B.C. Boys bellow against mask mandates, even though the truth is easy to find.**
The B.C. belong to the ‘’Cult of Faith in False Facts,’’ a so-called nonreligious sect of Americans who will believe what they choose, or whatever Donald Trump commands them to swallow whole, over the things that can be proven scientifically. CFFF for short, pronounced “Koff.”
Why do the Bastiat’s demand others join their movement to stop the blatant abuse of precautionary measures?
Nobody knows. Is there prize money involved?
The callous caucus of intellectuals suffers from what historian Richard J. Hofstadter calls “the paranoid style” — popularized by the regressive right — “which is a tendency toward hyper-vigilant, alarmist, and absolutist beliefs that stem from a combination of ‘heated exaggeration, suspiciousness, and conspiratorial fantasy.”
Are they of sound mind? Only for legal purposes.
The ”more conservative than anybody” — it’s what they claim — do not believe in exercising even ordinary precautions.
“Hit the golf ball? Is that what you said? You want me to kill my grandma? Or an aunt?’’
“It’s unlikely anyone in their foursome would die even if one of your powerful drives went straight. They’ll be fine. Your ball might clear them easily. Why did they tee off before us anyway?‘’
”Just relax, Oley. I could hit one of those low screamers with wicked topspin. Every one of my shots is a mystery until the Titleist takes flight or rolls off the tee box.’’
”That’s an old driving range ball.”
‘’There is only a 0.00001 percent death rate if Aunt Juniper actually dies due to being slipped into a coma by a hard shot to the temple and not other complications.”
”You’re right. What’s a little permanent brain damage?’’
“Exactly. It is our unalienable God-given right to play as fast as I please without concern for the welfare of your ‘grandma.’ It’s the Trumerican way.”
Everything is their God-given right, and unalienable until the ambulance shows up.
What if the Bastiats are wrong?
Like Trump wanting to install bay windows in his “great wall” wrong.
Like Kevin Cramer wrong.***
A legislative sect can be wrong about the ‘’infield fly rule,’’ but not about public health. They took an oath.
If facemasks spontaneously ignited, the B’s would be on to something, but they don’t. They also don’t attract bears, bees or vampire bats according to most recent studies.
How would such mandates be enforced? ‘’It would be impossible,” screams Rick.
Moreover, no Bastiat has ever forgone the purchase of the proper licenses and have the documents to hunt or fish — between rigid dates — at their fingertips even in the 360-degree aloneness of nowhere.
Because of course not.
B.C. cultists wouldn’t be caught dead with an extra walleye on ice.
But when it comes to the lives of humans, an overwrought Luke grows irritable. “If the government can force a patriot like me to wear a mask during a deadly pandemic, what’s next? A catcher’s mask? Condoms? Deodorant? Quality earplugs? Must I wear an athletic cup to defend my stones while fielding hot ground balls on an infield littered with rusty old gas caps? Is that where we’re headed? Does the government want to take responsibility for my nuts?’’
No, but there were less than 10,000 humans on Earth 70,000 years ago after a supervolcano thinned the herd, and no reasonable person of the era would have turned up their nose at a box of masks. It was a little ashy.
Light-colored people evolved more than 60,000 years later in Northern Europe to invent curling.
Imagine — Trump level imagine — that experts throughout the world are completely wrong about masks? What will be the consequences of that mistake? Elastic rash?
Then imagine that the Bastiat Boys throughout North Dakota are completely wrong about masks? What will be the consequences of that mistake? More death and a longer pandemic, but no consequences for the pushers of erroneous information to dozens, hundreds, or thousands of uninformed malleable citizens.
Place your bets. No limit.
Why would the Bastiat Caucus characters encourage other people not to defend themselves and their family, and even strangers?
Why advise friends and their family, and even strangers, to flout the ancient practice of putting any not poisonous over their air holes to keep dirty stuff out and juices in? It’s a victimless precaution.
As opposed to, “Sure, first-time bowler. Just dip your fingers in the petroleum jelly before gripping the ball and let it rip. There won’t be that many casualties.”
Are these Bastiat dudes smarter than the professionals? Of course not. Several in their club couldn’t outwit a wheel of cheese. But that’s beside the point.
No one knows their point.
*Minot slang for “store.”
**”Our Constitution principally entrusts “(t)he safety and the health of the people” to the politically accountable officials of the States “to guard and protect.”
Jacobson v. Massachusetts, 197 U. S. 11, 38 (1905). When those officials “undertake to act in areas fraught with medical and scientific uncertainties,” their latitude “must be especially broad.”
Marshall v. United States, 414 U. S. 417, 427 (1974). Where those broad limits are not exceeded, they should not be subject to second-guessing by an “unelected federal judiciary,” which lacks the background, competence, and expertise to assess public health and is not accountable to the people.” — Chief Justice John Roberts, May 29, 2020
To Mask Or Not To Mask? It’s Not a Constitutional Question https://clsbluesky.law.columbia.edu/2020/10/29/to-mask-or-not-to-mask-its-not-a-constitutional-question/
***Like Kevin Cramer wrong: “Lying is just this President’s style. I don’t understand how he puts up with the relentless radical “factual feelings” mob that has burned down our Black Democrat cities and painted words on our treasured thoroughfares and underpasses. Don — he said I could call him Don — because I’ve proven myself capable of saying almost anything in hard to decipher ways. And now, just as this president predicted, the fake news has stopped stressing out about this, uh, some would call it virus hysteria meant to hurt this president on Nov. 4, when there really isn’t anything he can do about it. Like what? Could he have followed the pandemic response plan that George Bush ordered and Barack Obama somehow made worse? Only if you do want to live near poor Black people in the suburbs would Obama’s plan work. This president instinctively knew that he had to go his own way. He’s magical in that way. It’s like he’s telling conventional speaking people to put more spin on their backstroke and spice up their relationships with the deep state. That’s true freedom. Every little girl and boy should know that everything is rigged. And what’s wrong with chain-link? All of the fancy homes on our street had it. Frisbee traps are all they are. The left-wing media is trying to cancel the communication genius of our time by constantly repeating his words. When he says toilets need to be flushed 15 times — I always get a kick out of the media frenzy — patriotic North Dakotans know exactly what he’s talking about. It’s like a Vulcan mind-meld. Don just understands which words to use. Those words might not satisfy you, Chuck, but the American people know you need toast to go with a soft boiled egg and so does Donald Trump. This country has been rigged since the beginning, but what we’re trying to say is to ignore historical additions to the record that don’t make us proud. Furthermore —”
Chuck Todd: ‘’I said good morning, Senator.’’