RON SCHALOW: NDGOP Trumpedemiologist Champs Were Born This Way

Bear with Me. I’ve been pounding my head on Trump’s health care plan.

The second line of Section 2 under Article I of the Declaration of Rights in the Constitution of the state of North Dakota reads: “Government is instituted for the protection, security and benefit of the people…”

“Does the ‘protection, security and benefit of the people‘ have anything to do with our state lawmakers?” I wondered, because I think we’re getting chiseled by a lot of them. So I look.

And it seems that state legislators have to take an oath as outlined in Section 4 under Article XI of the General Provisions section of Constitution. They “solemnly swear” to “support the U.S. Constitution and the State Constitution.”

You can see the connection. Some experts don’t think mandatory oaths work in some political communities, but they all choose to raise their hand.

But when it comes to “the people,” many NDGOP practices are unhealthy and dangerous, sometimes endangering or shortening life and sometimes infecting society at large.

Yet, the Trumpedemiologists in the NDGOP insist on promoting “unhealthy and dangerous” behavior that can “endanger or shorten” life and scoff at the prospect of “infecting society at large.”

Resolution 31 of the N.D. Republican party reads in part:

“WHEREAS: Many LGBT practices are unhealthy and dangerous, sometimes endangering or shortening life and sometimes infecting society at large.”

Resolution 31 lists the high number of personal problems the NDGOP has with LGBTQ+ Americans, including that ‘those people’ don’t really exist and nobody has proven any type of discrimation is actually taking place. Oddly, they chose a leader who thinks he is the “only person” that exists and that he is “treated unfairly” by anyone and everyone he decides.

And some NDGOP members don’t even believe that COVID-19 exists, such as Sen. Oley Larson from Minot, who calls the pandemic a “scamdemic.”

He may have seen a meme to that effect on North Dakota Young Repubilican’s meme-heavy Facebook page. Somebody has to call Joe Biden a pedophile in meme form. Donald Trump can’t make unfounded accusations all by himself, folks.

Oley also showed up for a meeting at the Capitol and skirted the temperature check to avoid being turned away like a teen trying to slip past the movie usher.

This was the senator’s explanation:

“I’m running a fever now, that’s why I bypassed the forehead thing because I know I was going to be sent — ‘Go back home to Minot.’ I drove all the way down here for this. It’s a sinus infection, it’s not COVID-19, I’m going to be sent home for that? That’s absurd.”

If you’re still skeptical, Oley will explain:

“There will be a great information on mask-wearing at living word church tonight at 7 p.m. in Minot, North Dakota, all are welcome,” he posted.

Therefore, due to the aforementioned inanities and others in the same vein, Oley has been named “contestant No. 1” in the first annual “N.D. Legislative Trumpedemiologist of the Year Awards.” He’s earned it. Even in the shadow of a true genius in the liarly arts. The man once talked a child (at heart) into believing that he was a Coke machine and made two bucks.

It’s a hard fact that Trump is the most prolific and influential spreader of pandemic information by far — he’s the bullshit king — the Base would hose down their front steps in January based on two winks from the guy who just remembered that he paid millions of dollars in taxes in advance.

But don’t his special helpers deserve some accolades for being gutsy enough to publicly suggest educational and mental parity with the seasoned scientists and doctors across the world?

Of course they should. They’re special.

Contestant No. 2 for the NDGOPTYA is Rep. Rick Becker — aka the “Pretentious RBGee — from Bismarck.

He took courses in “immunology and medical statistics” in medical school, which is really all a guy needs. Chew on that, you stupid expert epidemiologists and Republican Gov. Doug Burgum for trying to slip updated science past Rick.

Becker is calling for “the elimination of mass testing, contact tracing, coronavirus guidelines for businesses and marketing campaigns for masking and social distancing.” He’s worried about the money.

“Attempting to control a globally present virus is both naive and misguided,” claims the naive and misguided Becker.

Rep. Becker favors a herd immunity theory called “The Great Barrington Declaration.” According to the Union of Concerned Scientists, the GBD “was written by three scientists with fringe views and concocted in a gathering hosted by a Libertarian think tank with ties to the climate-denying Koch Industries.”

In response to this declaration — that has fans in the White House  —  “more than 6,400 scientists, health professionals, and research organizations say this is inhumane and have signed a memorandum rejecting herd immunity as a legitimate strategy.” The memorandum can be found in the Lancet.

Becker is or was a bar owner, and good owners used to know that many customers are reticent about going places that might cause them injury with the added bonus of possibly spreading the virus to their friends and family, and perhaps finish off a few.

Contestant No. 3  is Rep. Luke Simons of Dickinson. His fortress of a mind has conned some state residents into thinking that Bill Gates has a plan to control the masses by somehow tampering with the vaccine for the virus. Controlling the masses is a major theme with those on the right wingtip.

But mostly Luke is just mad about facemasks in general and brags about his brave stance of refusal on the grounds that he doesn’t feel like it.

Simons is a state legislator, but instead of making some calls, he complains online to publicize his disdain for the difference in management between public and parochial schools:

“Folks, it’s just not making any sense. Our kids have to wear masks in school but RASP and day care no masks required? Trinity High School and Hope Christian Academy no masks required how are they doing compared to our Dickinson public schools?” (RASP is the Regional After School Program)

Then, Rep. Simons shows his militant side:

“Amazing, so I could protest at the Capitol without a mask, and it appears I will not be able to be a legislator without a mask at the capital?”

It could be an inside versus outside thing. Who would know?

“I will not comply with the mask mandate, and I will be at the Capitol business as usual if elected. I just came from two meetings, one from the state Capitol, where no one was wearing masks, and the other was from the Western regional Republican caucus meeting, where at least 25 of us were there and not one was wearing a mask, I cut hair every single day as a barber and do not wear a mask. I will not wear one at the Capitol, either.”

He’ll wear one.

All three should be proud of their pro-death stances and a willingness to spread disinformation for the sole purpose of satisfying big egos and putting the people of North Dakota in even more danger.

Convincing gullible people to eliminate one measure of personal defense against the coronavirus isn’t hard. But all three will recommend carrying a concealed weapon in case a Proud Boy, Boogaloo Boy or a Wolverine Watchman starts a shootout. It makes sense to them. They were born this way.


One thought on “RON SCHALOW: NDGOP Trumpedemiologist Champs Were Born This Way”

  • Susan Gorr October 28, 2020 at 9:44 am

    These guys are the worst kind of selfish leaders AND you’re a brilliant writer the way you create and craft the words!


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