RON SCHALOW: A Cramer Replica

Fear not, if you were worried that Kelly Armstrong’s feet wouldn’t be small enough to fit into Kevin Cramer’s shoes. The wingtips feel fine. No room for growth, so perfect.

Like Cramer and many others in his party, Armstrong will follow Donald Trump into the always popular “obese size” executive time tanning bed slash toaster oven to retrieve an unknown quantity of Toblerone ingots or fetch a tennis ball, whatever is called upon.

The interests of Trump are Kev’s and Kel’s interests, and the duo is impervious to lies, which is a testament to their true lack of character, the lie un-detector implants and genetics.

I wish the Ks would admit that the 45Q and Kim relationship has gotten just a little weird and find a teaspoon of concern. Do they count each other’s chins? Are they discussing the great art of the masters? We already know that Trump can’t deal a poker hand. And we know for a fact that Don is always giving Kim Jong-un some human qualities.

Our president of this United States is actually running a PR campaign for the brutal Communist dictator of the outlaw country of North Korea, an axis of evil gold bomb member. That’s a bad thing. Trump is always siding with sociopaths for some reason. And psychopaths.

Americans don’t help rehabilitate the image of any troll doll who murders, brutalizes and starves his people. At least it used to be that way. But Trump takes Kim at his word, just as he does Putin’s. The jackass is endorsing the behavior of the world’s worst humans.

The bots don’t care about Trump’s bad things, but they’re getting a bit miffed at his endearing humility and respect for women.

There are Republicans, somewhere in the Congress, who haven’t checked their brain, heart and courage at the door, organs and bravery destined for storage in a walk-in cooler, which the president scavenged from one of his failed casinos, but Kelly isn’t one of them.

The refrigeration unit is quite large and expensive, but Trump refused to pay the vendor for the spacious wine chiller, and other pricey items, on the grounds that he couldn’t lock the door from the inside and fondle the help in private. Some women have gotten away because of shameful superlosers over at Ralph’s Refrigeration, which went out of business last week for some reason.

Jared’s father-in-law keeps Melania in the humidor — he calls it the trophy case — and it was also swiped from the casino before dealers could repossess their equipment. Mel is actually 68 years old, but the team kept her very well preserved.

  • “Asked if the Trump tax cuts had contributed to budget deficits Armstrong said, ‘in the short term, yeah,’ adding that he ‘still believes it’s good policy.'” — Plain Talk Podcast

In any term, Scooter. The tax scam has not paid for itself as advertised. And there is no credible economist in the country who has said our deficits will decrease, so Armstrong is either ignorant or he lied. Trumpish, Cramerish and ish.

The GDP dropped to 2.8 percent in the last quarter, ending in December, so the “good policy” had a short shelf life.

  • “I urge negotiators to come to an agreement to secure our border, build the wall – a barrier, a fence, a partition, a panel. I am less interested in semantics and more interested in supporting the law enforcement officers that are on the front lines every day protecting our communities,” Armstrong said. — Minot Daily News

Even Trump admits that there is no border crisis. Or at least he’s not in any hurry to solve his campaign promise crisis. Regular emergencies need an immediate response, but not this one, semantically speaking. “I’ll throw you a rope when I’m damn ready, Jimmy!” But Jimmy is just sitting on the sofa and in no danger of falling off. “I’ll throw it later, man.”

Why is Armstrong demeaning law enforcement? We don’t have an open border, as Trump and his sycophants like to claim. The nitwits are accusing the Border Patrol of not doing its job, which is a lie, to back up a lie.

And maybe Armstrong doesn’t know that the previous Congress, the Republican one, did not give one dime to Trump for his wall, fence, or clothesline, as long as the meaning of words no longer matter.

  • “‘I have seen nothing yet that comes close to impeachment,’ but that won’t necessarily stop the Democrats from trying, he said.” — Grand Forks Herald

I don’t know what Kelly has seen. But whatever he saw, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the congressman understood any of the details of investigations, or why half of Trump’s former staff were in cahoots with Putin. VP is listed under “The Vladamir” in the Moscow phone book if you want to ask him personally about his Oval Office stooges or get poisoned. His poisonings price is very competitive.

  • “Armstrong said he’s keeping tabs on a young congressional resolution meant to tackle climate change and economic inequality from Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., and Sen. Edward J. Markey, D-Mass., known as the ‘Green New Deal.'” — Grand Forks Herald

Armstrong has been trying to pick a Twitter fight with AOC to raise his low fame numbers. Either that or he likes pulling her pigtails. Notoriety only comes if a person has ideas, though. Or gets hit in the nuts with an errant golf ball and the video goes viral. My bucket of coal dust is on the bruised testicles of the political lightweight.

  • “It’s absolutely detrimental to North Dakota in (agriculture), energy, coal and oil issues,” Armstrong said. — Grand Forks Herald

Yes, that’s the point. Duh. Unless Armstrong believes that civilization has peaked with strip-mined lignite coal, and he’s willing to see the whole works go down in the smoke, his talking point won’t win any ribbons at the Stark county fair. Well. Maybe a yellow one.

The world has to switch to renewables and do a thousand other things superfast to forestall the imminent absolutely detrimental threat of climate change to the Earth and its inhabitants. It’s a pretty big deal. I’m surprised that an educated attorney is oblivious to this scientific certainty.

But science denial is part of the Republican family credo, so he is obliged. Yet, he was named to the Select Committee on the Climate Crisis, which is like telling a mallard to wash its clothes. Ducks don’t wear clothes, as is obvious, and they have no quarters, so I expect Armstrong was put on the committee to gum it up. I guess the Republicans had to stick somebody there who has less than no clue.

  • “The congressman went on to suggest the deal is more indicative of a new socialist lean to the Democratic Party.” — Grand Forks Herald

Yes, we’re aware of the socialist lie. Did you know the Republicans in the Legislature are currently paying homage to the socialist Bank of North Dakota? How does the supermajority fit into the “everyone is a socialist” meme? What lean is that?

  • “If you’ve read the resolution of the Green New Deal — I don’t know what your definition of socialism is, (but) that’s mine,” Armstrong said. — Grand Forks Herald

The congressman didn’t care about semantics when it came to barriers, and now he’s making up definitions to meet his daily socialist sighting requirements, set by the golden grifter. And I’ll bet a quart of Permian Basin oil that Kelly hasn’t read the resolution, or actually know what a Democratic Socialist is.

Then KA embraces his rhetorical destiny with a stiff upper lip.

  • “Armstrong (R, N.D.) signed a letter to Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue in support of the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s proposal to tighten states’ abilities to evade food stamp work requirements for able-bodied adults without dependents. The move, which updates how states can seek waivers to the work requirements, would save up to $15 billion over 10 years. Food stamps are intended to help those in need get back on their feet, back in the workforce and become self-sufficient,’ said Armstrong. “With the economy as strong as it is right now, we should encourage work for those able to, not discourage it. The proposed change would eliminate loopholes abused by states, which allow people to stay on the program without being encouraged to find meaningful employment.'” — Armstrong Press Release

He hasn’t gone nutty on white pantsuits or explained how chain-link fencing is a humane way to incarcerate children who have been taken from their family, but Armstrong is following Cramer’s lead in his animosity toward the poor and hungry because that’s where the big bucks are hiding.

Supposedly we’ll save up to $1.5 billion dollars a year, by providing fewer people with a nominal amount of food. Less than the Trump golf and french fry budget. Kim Jong-un has the same feelings about people and food.

Meanwhile, Netflix and Amazon, to name a couple of corporations. will pay zero in federal taxes, and Armstrong thinks it was good policy to borrow trillions to lessen the burden on Jeff Bezos company. Oh, and wealthy individuals who have refused to trickle.

Armstrong got his ideology synched up with Kevin’s in about an hour. It’s a bear to explain the “fewer bologna sandwiches” diet to new members of the swamp.

Recently, the Dickinson quisling voted nay on a bill for Universal Background Checks for gun sales because checking just some of the people is plenty, I guess. Why test all of the airbags, or tighten all of the lug nuts? Why kill all of the roaches in the house? 100 percent is for losers.

Then Kelly made his TV posturing debut by trying to convince anybody that Michael Cohen is more of a lying criminal sleazebag than Cohen’s former boss, and now Armstrong’s boss, Donald Trump. Tomato, tomato. Armstrong simultaneously failed his oath and had flop sweats on national television. You can’t unrecord that shaky performance.

And congratulations are due to Cramer for making the top nine in the SPLC’s list of the members of Congress who traffic in hate and extremism.

  • “Kevin Cramer, endorsed by the anti-LGBT hate group Public Advocate of the United States, filled out the group’s survey and received a 100 percent rating. The survey included questions like, “‘Should public schools be prevented from brainwashing elementary school children with the Homosexual Agenda?'” — Southern Poverty Law Center

Cramer hates anyone who isn’t topped off with testosterone, which is rare, or 100 percent female, which is also scarce. Sexuality can fall anywhere on the spectrum, as is true with most things, such as intelligence. Kevin hasn’t been named to any lists for smarts.

Does Armstrong hate all of these humans, too? Ask his mentors.

Leave a Reply