RON SCHALOW: Does North Dakota Really Need Rob Port?

“Does North Dakota Really Need Democrats?” read Rob Port’s headline on the Fargo Forum’s Sayanythingblog. At first, I hoped he didn’t waste a lot of time coming up with that stupid question. Then I realized the Port is probably one of those stable geniuses who ask stupid questions. A game-changer.

Let’s discuss this.

First of all, is it Democrats like me, or is the nitwit referring to the political party? Knock, knock. “Mr. Schalow?” “Yes.” “It seems North Dakota doesn’t really need you.” And I’m rushed off to one of Trump’s internment camps in Minnesota — the trip lasted about five minutes — to think about what I’ve done. I can look at the state from across the river, but that’s it.

Trump actually owns these camps, so it’s his name on the sign. The taxpayers own the outdoor camps that are holding asylum seekers, but they look the same. Now, I know Don isn’t the type to pull any financial shenanigans, but I think the president got a bit of inside information from someone. Wilbur!!

Port thinks that the North Dakota GOP provides us rubes with enough of an “ideologically diverse” state government. If you think different brands of freezer burnt 5-gallon buckets of vanilla ice cream on the bottom shelf of the store’s freezer aisle are diverse.

Libertarian-fluid Rob isn’t a fan of full spectrums of thought, or care what spectrums are, but he is happy that Libertarians can call themselves Republicans since they can’t be elected when they run as Libertarians.

I guess North Dakota doesn’t really need the Libertarian Party or that mule out by the weird rock.

Hypocritically, Port thinks there should be more conservative journalists and more conservative college professors. You know, special treatment for conservatives. Affirmative action.

Perhaps more of these conservatives suitable to Port should get a proper education and apply for these jobs. Or maybe they are applying but are being beaten out by more qualified applicants.

The myth of the liberal media and the myth of indoctrination. I guess we don’t need myths or conspiracy theories from DT and the rabid red hats.

And most of the North Dakota Republicans still think that Donald Trump is crushing it, so we’re not dealing with the sharpest stabbers in the junk drawer. Supervision is a necessity with this crowd, including Port.

What does North Dakota really need? The state will do fine without me. I came to terms with that when I was 10. Do we really need nuclear-tipped missiles in our wheat fields? Are we almost up to the rim with Wal-marts? Does North Dakota need the hamlet of Sutton?

Maybe not.

But people in this state do like having access to health care, education and food. Maybe a place to live, if you make the Democrat cut. We still don’t have protections for the LGBT community, which is a disgrace. And we actually need refugees and immigrants, but the right wing is frightened by melatonin and Middle Easterners. People aren’t flocking here from Queens to fill our jobs and apartments.

World powers bomb the bejesus out of any dot they choose and then refuse the innocent a place lie down. The Earth is only so big, but hardcore lunatics like Trump think that every brown person is a threat and Wyoming can stay empty just for spite.

Somebody in the Legislature should believe in science. Let’s have a few up to speed on global warming, sexuality, exploding trains, clean water and the future of the planet, while the others ponder the upside to gravity and the downside of oil spills and radioactive raccoons.

Some of our guvmint legislators don’t trust guvmint schoolin’ and they indoctrinate their children at home. Some are having as many kids as humanly possible. And they get to vote on resources for the public schools.

There are plenty of North Dakota lawmakers who are still bent out of shape about the social safety net, and FDR. LBJ and his civil-rights legislation can jump in a frozen lake, too. As the party moves further to the right, it plays into the hands of the alt-right, white nationalists and other kooks like Trump. Some have already crossed the line and ended up on the fringe.

At this link is the current North Dakota Dem-NPL platform. Take a read and decide if North Dakota needs Democrats. Rob Port has never read it, so he doesn’t get to comment on it.

One thought on “RON SCHALOW: Does North Dakota Really Need Rob Port?”

  • Walter Chan December 16, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    good article. I have a question: why is North Dakota conservative politically while the province of Manitoba is generally politically centrist, possibly a bit progressive? The two places have some commonalities in their demographics.


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