One of the features of Trump University alternate mathematics is the ability to optionally count invisible people, a revolutionary new system of viewing numerals and other math adjacent quotients. Kevin Cramer evidently clicked on “other.”

Anyway, on a  nationally broadcast political show, Showtime’s “The Circus,” Cramer told John Heilemann “… if it happens that Donald Trump is right for North Dakota 80 percent of the time, then being with him 50 percent of the time. It’s 30 short.” The episode aired Sunday and is available for viewing on Showtime.

Translated; Kevin means that if Heidi Heitkamp votes with Donald Trump only 50% of the time, she comes up 30% short of the times that the infallible Trump is good for North Dakota.

If.

“…if it happens, that Trump is right for the state.”

If.

We’re working with a modifier here, people, so back up! And Donnie T. is a peckish Tyrannosaurus of a wicked large variable. The extinct dinosaur would be more predictable. So, if Cramer pegs the criminally active pudding pop as an 80% ball of righteousness for our state, he’s full of unprescribed pills.

And if the Cramer/Trump combo platter is only right for North Dakota 80% percent of the time. Kevin is 20% short. Kev and Don, both 100% pure assholes, would be wrong for North Dakota 20% of the time. He either ignored that half of the equation, or Kev’s skill with numbers is a 100% hypothetical.

Heidi is wrong 30% of the time. Cramer is wrong 20% of the time. Kevin’s worship of Trump isn’t paying yuuge returns.

If.

The full Cramer quote: “It is, because Donald Trump is the right person for the state of North Dakota. It’s not the team you’re on that matters, it’s what these people (points at departing crowd) need and want, and if it happens that Donald Trump is right for North Dakota 80% of the time, then being with him 50% of the time. It’s 30 short.”

I would love to see the algorithm that spit those numbers out, or at least see a few examples of 45 being a good person, just for kicks. I would assume that the pastor who participated in a Kevin Cramer television ad wouldn’t want a parishioner to be hanging with the wrong crowd, and Trump is a crowded empathy-free telephone booth. Sociopathic sissy for accuracy.

And I don’t know what “right for North Dakota” means, like Kevin feigns, but Cramer is unconditionally reactionary, further to the right than over 75% of our people. Maybe 90 percent. Without a nudge, Cramer falls off the game board. And he’s a true regressive political believer. An ideologue with a bizarre attraction to perhaps the most horrible American.

Just judging by the things I hear and the stuff I see, Donald Trump only cares 100%  about himself, maybe 45% for his kids and zero percent for North Dakotans.

But if it should happen that KC’s arithmetic is correct, if, what we get for that extra 10% is something viciously ugly, and knowing the congressman has met the rabid honey badger, I’m not inspired by his eye for horseflesh. Trump has told dozens of lies, within feet of the junior congressman, and none of the groper’s fibs phased the wide eyed alt-right lawmaker a spit.

Is the extra 10% of Trump juice that Cramer loudly repeats to the base worth it to the normal folks of North Dakota? Consider that human sacrifices might be part of Trump’s carnival act. Don’t tell me that you don’t believe it could be on a Trump wish list.

Cramer’s extra 10% of fealty to the New York overbaked debutante get us a Trump toady who will relieve us the torture of having health care.

He’ll fight to keep the tariffs that hurt everyone. Kevin thinks he’s being patriotic, as Trump dismantles decades of trading relationships and taxes Americans for this foolishness.

Kevin will vote for more tax scams and will rationalize family separations and the caging of toddlers. He justifies the assault of women and wants to control the body of every female.

Trump is a racist, but that doesn’t seem to bother the LGBT bigot from Kindred, N.D. Children can see what Trump is, but Kevin is somehow blind to it all. Lack of perception isn’t a good quality.

Not included in the scatterbrained ciphering of a mediocre mind is that North Dakota is part of the United States, and should short pants become a senator, he has to consider the country when he is propping Trump up during the Milk Duds future lawsuits and trials. His tax fraud. His money laundering. Trump’s issues with everyone, except straight white males.

A patriot wouldn’t put up with the dangerous antics and fever dreams of this New York confidence man.