RON SCHALOW: Lies, Lies And More Lies

According to the almanac, this is Rob Port’s 715th Heitkamp lie, which I believe beats Basil Ruth’s record. Basil had good run, but was forced to join the circus last year. Rumor, from one of my anonymous sources, suggests that Port was smiling during the abduction but refuses to lift things.

Anyway, Sen. Heidi Heitkamp ran an ad, an open letter Kevin Cramer, that used Cramer’s own Cramer brand crude words regarding sexual assault. Cramer has some really not North Dakota conservative views on what constitutes a sexual assault. It doesn’t count unless the rowdy drunken horseplay ends in rape. Actually, it’s a felony.

Oh, that Cramer. What a nut. What will he say next?

The right wingers in North Dakota are talking about Cramer the same way they rationalize all of the hourly “little” Trump gaffes, lies and dopiness. “We just like his policies.” “He says lots of stuff.” Uh huh.

Underneath the truthful copy was a list of over 100 women who survived sexual assault and who agreed to co-sign the letter.

Unfortunately, several of the women listed hadn’t given their consent to have their names made public. Heitkamp has admitted to the mistake and taken responsibility. Ultimately, the senator is responsible for the error. She’s the boss.

But no one in their right mind thinks that Heidi Heitkamp physically dealt with the advertisement, at any point.

Enter bonzo blogger and world’s 17th-tallest garden gnome, Rob Port. Bad news for Heidi mercifully lets him forget 2012 for a moment. The lad’s been in a tailspin ever since his nemesis beat Rick Berg in the Senate race of that cursed year. Heidi hatred set in. HHH, they call it, on the street.

She was all the things that Port despises. A woman.

So Port, now in heat, set out writing. Heidi printed Cramer’s name without taking a knee, making vicious cold-hearted professional assassins look Charmin soft. Heidi is mean. Heidi wouldn’t talk to me for years, which I bring up every day.

Heidi is under blistering attack from the man who orders his Whoppers with only the top half of the bun toasted. Or so I’ve heard. Port is a strange cat.

Then, Nibbles — Port’s nickname in kick dance, I assume — wrote this declarative sentence:

“Sadly, sticking it to Cramer seems to have won out over the senator’s better judgment.”

That’s a lie.

Port wants people to believe that Heidi personally and purposely chose to add a few extra random names, for some reason.

I say prove it, Port. Tell us why.

Someone else did the vetting of the women for the list. Evidently, it was an employee. Anyone, with experience outside of a bunker, could have told you that.

I already know that Port is a liar, the Forum knows he’s a liar — but they needed a man to cover south hill in Minot. He lies a lot. He can’t help himself. It certainly isn’t a secret. There are probably more lies sprinkled about in the same column, as the poor ceramic boy takes another stab at honest communication.

Port works so hard hating Heidi, another six years of her will likely do him in.

One thought on “RON SCHALOW: Lies, Lies And More Lies”

  • Martin C. Fredricks IV October 17, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    I’m guessing at least one of those lies involves statements of how he reported this or that first, as in, “Blag blah blah, which I reported first, before anyone else because I am the most awesome reporter of all time and I have the greatest reporting skills ever and I mean, like, bigly.” I’ve lost count of how many times he’s worked THAT into one of his “columns.” Need to feed your ego, much? Need that pat on the back soooooo badly that you are absolutely compelled to point out your “firstness, regardless of the fact that it adds absolutely NOTHING to the point you’re trying to make? EVER! HELLO? NARCISSIST? Egads.


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