RON SCHALOW: The Land With Two Brains

If Donald Trump had walked into a Minot working man’s bar before he became a fancy pants, popular stream of consciousness screamer, he would have ended up in the dumpster, with appropriate discoloration, in under 30 minutes.

No self-respecting patron of the bar arts in the Magic City, would suffer a loudmouth, self-aggrandizing, lying dick for very long. Experienced drinkers develop a razor sharp sense of bullshit detection. It’s a survival mechanism evolved over many happy hours.

“I am the smartest, ever, in the history of time.” “I have more money and a nicer apartment than you.” “I get to walk into girls dressing rooms.” “Barack Obama wiretapped me.” Blah, blah, blah.

OK, that’s it! Outside, smarmy!

Even a rookie drinker, just starting his questionable career, could have made Chip “hell no, he didn’t go” McDuck for what he is pretty easily, though. Rook probably would have pulled out Chucky’s two hairs, or as many curls Donnie had at the time, just for kicks, before dropping DT in the garbage box.

Dapper Donnie could have put on any costume and declared a nonlazy type of employment. It wouldn’t have mattered. When someone has never worked on anything long enough to muster up a blister, or staged war with a rusted out lug nut, in 20 below weather, they waft off a scent of privileged asshole.

Has “The Donald” ever switched out a carburetor, shoveled a driveway or painted a house? I’m doubtful. Has he ever made sandwich or washed a dish?

Many of the affluent are quite nice. But DT has always been exactly like the stuffy young — rich from daddy — men, who tried to dampen John Belushi’s lifestyle by taking his Delta house away. Bluto wasn’t too bright, but he knew who was what. Alcohol and instinct.

But something changed in Minot. Or not.

A big majority of Minoters — and North Dakotans — voted for the slick, tough talking, adulterous New York buffoon, who began his campaign by telling people that Barack Obama was really born in Kenya. He started with a racist lie.

Little Marco, Mrs. Cruz and Carly Fiorina are ugly, other misogynist garbage and the incessant shouting and bullying. Oh, and Ted Sr. was involved in the JFK assassination. Vomit like that got cheesehead the nomination.

DT never had any relationship with the truth. It’s past the point of being a pathological liar. He has a cortisol and testosterone imbalance that would make Charles Ponzi blush, and Charlie had naturally red cheeks. Trump is in a category of his own, lying wiseguy wise, but he is still in the good graces of 90 percent of Republicans.

Though, there are less Republicans now, as many snap out of their fugue state and jump ship.

We also lost a few Republicans who were on the island when Puerto Rico got wiped out by wind and water. Trump’s government decided that it wasn’t worth taking the time to look for people wo\ho might have been unwell, needed meds or electricity to survive the aftermath. Well, we know why that was, simply by looking at the latest Sherwin-Williams color chart.

We’ve talked about 9/11 ever since the day everything happened on another incompetent president’s list of things to do. Almost 17 years.

Forty-six hundred Americans perished on Puerto Rico on sleepy eye’s watch, but its been largely forgotten, and that’s wrong. I really don’t care if Sarah Huckabee Sanders has to make her own food at home, what Melania’s jacket read or about Kevin Cramer’s warped bigoted idea of North Dakota values.

The Tale of Two Cerebral Hemispheres

The gray matter is different in liberal brains than conservative ones. Of course, there is a whole spectrum of thought, but I’m proud to own an organ on the left side. There are people way to the left of me, and I can’t even see Kevin Cramer — on the other side — who has whored himself out to Trump, and I find their relationship offensive. I’m happy with my slot.

Many studies have been done, so the brain thing is nothing new.

In short; conservatives are more fearful, have a higher level of anxiety, prefer to avoid change and are able to justify inequality among groups and individuals. Their right amygdalas are larger. What are you going to do? Immigrants or foreigners make this brain sector light up like Trump on kid-caging day. Stupid crying short people.

Liberals, very simply put, are the opposite.

Of course, some people voted for the malignant narcissist, hoping for a financial reward in the form of a tax cut. The wealthiest did win that one. Bigly.

Some wanted the United States to declare Jerusalem as the capital city of Israel, to lube the way for the rapture, or so I’ve read. Well, I want the North Dakota capital moved to Hillsboro, N.D., so that the western legislators can have more time to think about what they have done, while they’re driving back to Tioga, N.D.

Mostly, members of the Trumpire fear the millions of brown people that Donnie has claimed are coming — he lies — and want the place hermetically sealed, yesterday. More foreigners -— I’m looking at you, you conniving shoe-smuggling Canadians — overstay their Visas than ever successfully walk across our southern border. But the meat on that bone isn’t red enough to get the gullibles wound up. Nobody cares if you walk in from Moose Jaw, Sask.

And, that’s precisely what Trump will be doing in Fargo on Wednesday. Winding up the gullibles. There will be a white fluorescent glow coming from Scheels Arena, just before sun comes up  Wednesday, as the line begins or continues to form.

Then, there’s this issue, which defies explanation. And there are millions who refuse to believe documented facts. Facts are facts. They aren’t debateable.

From ABC.

(Jonathan) KARL: “He (Trump) says things that are not true all the time.”

(Steve) BANNON: “I don’t believe that.”

KARL: “Come on.”

BANNON: “I think he speaks in a particular vernacular that connects to people in this country.”

It’s the shameless false information vernacular. There’s more than brain voodoo going on here. This is a lead-plated helmet and full-metal jacket situation. NOTHING is getting through the outer shell, and there is no point in trying. Very troublesome. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him use a straw. It’s the same dynamic.

Even the softcore Trump fan actually believes that the national media gets together at the IHOB and makes stuff up to make the president look bad. As if making Trump look stupid required any effort.

The gullibles, who probably make up the usual 30 percent, believe everything he says, but they don’t really care — or aren’t interested in the truth — anyway. They can forgive most anything, being Christian, and all.

Some Trumpers, not too far gone, may come back from the edge on their own after they realize what they’ve created. The lightbulb only comes on for a few of the more sentient ones with nominal self-awareness.

The racially hateful voters who are sure that Trump is speaking directly to them think this country is swarming with too many brown people as it is, including the Native Americans.

Those self-named patriots are more of a danger to Americans than any immigrant. They are the white supremacists, the white nationalists and their brethren carrying backyard ambiance tiki torches, even in this magical age of flashlights. You don’t want any of these characters infesting your neighborhood.

The alt-right was at the chanting party in Charlottesville, Va., too, including those insufferable incels. Good luck with that white ethno-state, with obedient females, fellas. Dig those bunkers deep, and stock up on ammo for the impending race war, nuclear fallout or just for fun.

Give the fearful ones, just a few chores, if they’re game. The information can easily be found that would show most average people what a putrid character Donald Trump has always been. Probably not the gullibles, though.

On YouTube, search “Trump interview Howard Stern.”

On YouTube, search “Trump interview.”

On YouTube, search “Trump documentary.”

On Google; search “Trump history.”

No time limit.

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