RON SCHALOW: American Gun

Is it still too soon to talk about guns — and the slaughter in Las Vegas — or is too late? Who makes the timing rules? I think it’s Sean Hannity, who is in some unholy alliance with Bobo, aka the president of the United States, who is so short on brain juice that he’ll believe or lie about damn near anything. Sleazeball times two.

It doesn’t matter. Thoughts and prayers. There will be another large massacre soon enough. Of course, the media (yes, the liberal one, which keeps unfairly recording Bobo) and our public servants in D.C., won’t get off their fat a$$es, unless the blood is ankle deep when it’s a white shooter, or zero inches for a Muslim extremist, one of the smart ones, who couldn’t make it past the planning stage before getting J. Edgared.

And no, the mere mention of any sort of attempt to keep guns out of the wrong hands, or limit their lethality, is not a ban. Gun control does mean a ban on all guns, or the hairbrained parts to make them more lethal.

A smattering of regulation, considering the mountain of armaments floating about the country isn’t going to keep people or animals, safe. Maybe a bit. Maybe. Better than nothing, Bobo. It’ll get better, if we do something.

Try to get your hands on a stick of dynamite.

You can buy a flamethrower online, for crissakes. Impress your friends by lighting the grill from across the yard. Ooh, sorry Jimmy. Walk it off, bud. Char your cranky neighbor, Orville, from your bedroom window, and torch his fancy picket fence to the ground, which is 3 inches on your land.

Cars have nothing to do with it. Yes, we know that people are killed in and by cars, you rubes. One of the fine people in Charlestown for the Tiki tot rally, sent bodies flying, and killed a woman with his car. Cars will not be banned, but some brain poor idiot, many actually, will bring it up. Every time. Duh, maybe we should ban cars, heh, heh.

Oh yeah, what about Chicago, you liberal cuck? Oh, Chicago, that island surrounded by water, horrible ocean water. There is no way to get guns into that town. Or Baltimore.

And we should blame the spoon for obesity. My sides ache. Stairs. We must ban them because of gravity. Knives, of course. Frying pans, arrows, hammers, name a tool, and giggle at your cleverness. Duh, maybe we should ban________, heh, heh. Take my wife, please.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a bazooka. Thirty-second floor and far away, dudes. You could just as well throw your 30 mm Beretta towards the a$$hole terrorist shooter.

I don’t even know why we’re arguing with this small herd of extremists that bark at the mailman and scream freedom like Mel Gibson because tyranny runs rampant in this country. Stupid laws on things.

Only 25 percent of adults (estimated) in America own a gun, and 3 percent of these gun “superowners” possess 50 percent of all firearms. (Time) A little over 10 million citizens own 50 percent of all the guns in the United States. The Las Vegas a$$hole terrorist had a lot of guns.

Among those 10 million are collectors and hunters. Or both. And among the hunters are reasonable men and women. Eighty percent of ALL Americans favor universal background checks for ALL gun purchases, but the Senate still voted it down. That leaves just 2 million citizens who won’t suffer any inconvenience of any measure.

Less than three-fourths of 1 percent of American adults own 50 percent of the guns in the country. It’s kinda like our money.

Armslist.com is just one of the websites where you can shop for guns from private sellers in your town who aren’t subject to background checks. Many gun shows are the same.

Of course the extremists deny that this loophole exists, and I go, nuh huh. I’ve contacted some of these private sellers and asked. Background check? Nope. What sense does it make to do a background check on just some gun buyers? About as much sense, but not as funny, as Rodney Dangerfield rushing past his assistant and hollering, “Ophelia, hold some of my calls.” (“Back To School,” 1986). Well, I thought it was funny.

So, less than 2 million people are holding some of our calls.

But snowflake. The Vegas a$$hole terrorist passed his background checks. I know. Everything doesn’t have to be about the last massacre. The streetlights on 13th Avenue didn’t stop the accident from happening on Fourth Street, either.

“But I’m mad now” Homer Simpson

Indeed, the a$$hole terrorist purchased dozens of guns, large capacity round drum magazines, clips, bump stocks, ammo and somehow managed to lug it all up to his room on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino. Are the metal detectors on the blink? The Oceans 11 guys didn’t have so much stuff. Usually, businesses that deal in large amounts of cash have a high security apparatus. Maybe some improvement is due?

How did the a$$hole terrorist accumulate so many long guns, in a short period, without a red flag getting vigorously waved?

From USA Today: “Gun shop owners are required under federal law to alert ATF if a client buys more than one handgun from the same store within five days, but the same rule doesn’t apply if a gun owner buys multiple semiautomatic rifles, said David Chipman, a former ATF special agent and senior policy adviser at Americans for Responsible Solutions, which advocates for tougher gun rules.

That discrepancy allows people like Paddock to stockpile arsenals such as the one used in Sunday’s shooting, he said.

“The amazing loophole here is you could buy two small pistols and ATF will be alerted to that, but you could buy 20 assault rifles and ATF won’t be alerted at all,” Chipman said. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

No, it doesn’t make any sense. Will one of the D.C. trio from North Dakota introduce legislation to close this loophole? I doubt it.

And what percent of the 3 percent are gangs, patriot groups that hate the government, white supremacists, preppers, who have their bunkers all decked out and ready for Halloween and the apocalypse. Other interesting chaps buy their guns by the dozen, too.

Large capacity round drum magazines, ammo clips as long as a Bobo tie, bump stocks and any device that can turn a semiautomatic rifle essentially into a Gatling gun, have to go. There is no point to a 60 bullet clip, or a 100 shell drum magazine, except to kill a lot of people, or just eff around with for fun. Get a different hobby.

The white-tailed deer I’ve talked to, say, one shot and they’re vapor. Rattle off the other 59 shells if you want, but I’ve split, you moron, you. Tails of any color, all have a very fast beast attached to them, that are spooked by a chipmunk chewing.

Personally, I would like to ban any long gun that can be converted to machine gun removed from the stores, but that’s not going to happen. What will all of the shirtless guys pose with, for their Facebook profile pictures, if not an AR-15? Oh, the manliness.

For gawds sake, don’t call an an AR-15 an assault rifle, or 18 people on Facebook will automatically flip out. They just look like an assault rifle, which makes them cool, and they can hold the giant-sized clips and round drum magazines, in case you’re attacked by a large pack of gophers. Light them up, Louie.

But: “Under the guidance of former Marine and former Army Ordnance technician, Eugene Stoner, the AR-10 became the main focus of attention. Army officials asked Armalite to develop a smaller version of the AR-10 in 1956 as a potential replacement for the M1 Garand. The ensuing rifle was called the AR-15 and was produced with aircraft grade aluminum receivers, weighing less than seven pounds.” — Armalite

So, call it anything but an “assault rifle,” but know this particular weapon was developed for war, and it hasn’t been allowed in the hands of civilians for all that long.

Oh, buttercup. If a person wants to kill a lot of people, they’ll find a way to do it, one way or another. Not really.

Could the kid-killer in New Town have built a bomb, or found a way to illegally buy all of the weaponry he stole from his personally murdered mother? Doubtful. Did he have the wherewithal or the money? Was he to just walk downtown and ask for the grenade guy?

If a person is determined, they could take a chainsaw to my, or anyone’s, wood door. They could chuck a rock through my glass patio doors. I’ll just lock the doors, and go to bed.

Most of these dicks aren’t that bright.

Speaking of not too bright dicks, Forum Communications has one on staff. He’s a big-time blogger, and he reminds me of the statue that stood outside of Bob’s Big Boy in Minot on Fourth Street. Anyhow, I choose to refer to Voldeport as BBB, in memory of Big Boy, who always sported checkered garb, just like BBB.

First, after the Vegas bloodbath, BBB, out of some sense of loyalty to the NRA, who knows why, wrote that these mass murders would stop, if the media didn’t “rubberneck” after these killings and actually report the event. That’s pretty stupid BBB. The usual. It’s a good thing you’re allowed to publish anything.

Then, my pal, BBB, who made a case for not talking about the Vegas slaughter, decided that his advice didn’t apply to him, wrote a post, entitled, “If murder were legal, who would you kill first?” BBB’s premise is that the vast majority of us would not kill anyone. Mostly. Today. It makes for a nice fairy tale. That the good people would never kill. Until they do. Any kind of gun control is a red herring, claims BBB. He’ll say most anything, but invoking a fish is just sad..

BBB never tries to come up with any answers, though. Evidently, according to the right wing, Americans are too stupid to figure out this one out, so just don’t think about it.

Then, he wonders in print why Heidi Heitkamp isn’t talking about gun control, as if she has voted for any laws in the past. BBB loves Heidi. I truly believe she could kick BBB’s B around the block.

And lastly in this batch of rants, he tries to change the subject by pointing out that most gun deaths are due to suicide. Thanks BBB. But as a child can clearly see, a mass murder from a high floor of a hotel in Las Vegas has nothing to do with the suicide of an individual. Homicides are different. That’s why they named the two differently.

He wonders why no one is waving the flag on this epidemic, which is a silly false assertion. People are on it, spud. Typical BBB. Then he lies, by stating that a gun in the house has no effect on suicide rates. Experts across the board say that a gun in the home increases increases the risk of suicide, and bunch of other bad things, but BBB, a Minot High grad, as far as we know, pulls alternative facts out of his B. He does the same with global warming.

This final chunk was written by New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, who makes some sense.

  1. Impose universal background checks for anyone buying a gun. Four out of five Americans support this measure, to prevent criminals or terrorists from obtaining guns.
  2. Impose a minimum age limit of 21 on gun purchases. This is already the law for handgun purchases in many states, and it mirrors the law on buying alcohol.
  3. Enforce a ban on possession of guns by anyone subject to a domestic violence protection order. This is a moment when people are upset and prone to violence against their ex-es.
  4. Limit gun purchases by any one person to no more than, say, two a month, and tighten rules on straw purchasers who buy for criminals. Make serial numbers harder to remove.
  5. Adopt microstamping of cartridges so that they can be traced to the gun that fired them, useful for solving gun crimes.
  6. Invest in “smart gun” purchases by police departments or the U.S. military, to promote their use. Such guns require a PIN or can only be fired when near a particular bracelet or other device, so that children cannot misuse them and they are less vulnerable to theft. The gun industry made a childproof gun in the 1800s but now resists smart guns.
  7. Require safe storage, to reduce theft, suicide and accidents by children.
  8. Invest in research to see what interventions will be more effective in reducing gun deaths. We know, for example, that alcohol and guns don’t mix, but we don’t know precisely what laws would be most effective in reducing the resulting toll. Similar investments in reducing other kinds of accidental deaths have been very effective.

One thought on “RON SCHALOW: American Gun”

  • Diana Esta Green October 24, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    Is there any REAL need for multiple shot guns except in war, or hunting wild animals that have gone over the edge with illness.
    My dad killed many skunks in the trash barrel in our back yard with a single shot 22 rifle. Seems we STILL have some SKUNKS abroad in our society.
    Wild Hawk.


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