RON SCHALOW: Port Whine, Part 3 — Blusterbum

It’s been a tough few weeks for North Dakota media star Rob Port. He was outed as an unwitting copy machine (an HP, I think) for the DAPL propaganda team. Voldeport has absolutely no idea which words he published to advance Energy Transfer Partners, and his pal Kelcy Warren’s, interests, were true, and which were false, and probably doesn’t care. It’s not his style.

The Fargo Forum might care. I think they did once. Newspapers used to be fussy about the truth.

So far, Port has chosen not to address the charges of premeditated stenography, by multiple sources. He hasn’t made any denials or excuses. Who you gonna call?

His blog numbers are dropping faster than 45’s approval ratings, as has his word count. I’m all for the minimalist approach when it comes to posts by Port. You can’t lie, at least in print, if nothing gets typed. Smart move by Forum Communications.

This weeks Portfolio of Shame:

The Smear of Rep. Kris Wallman

“ND Democrat criticizes gender, skin color of Republican candidates,” reads Port’s very serious headline. The hound had sniffed out another major scandal by one of those darn Democrats and stretched the bounds of mediocrity, once again..

The implication was that Kris Wallman was a racist and sexist, because she was pulling for two experienced Democratic women in District 21, over two inexperienced Republican men.

Wallman also accurately stated that the North Dakota Legislature is made up of mostly white men? Not politically correct to say? Has offense been taken? Have the dueling pistols been oiled and dusted?

I don’t even know how you criticize gender or skin color. “Say Bob, your forearms seem to have slipped into beige. You know we require our employees to sport a Dutch white shade. Over your entire body this time, Bob! No sunshine for you, mister. And knock off the manly spitting, and the haphazard urinating in traffic.”

To even insinuate that Kris Wallman is prejudiced, in any way, is more pea-brained than claiming that Rob Port is a prima ballerina, or a trapeze artist.

I think Port needs to learn how to diagram a sentence.

Port has well documented issues with woman, Native Americans, and he denies the very existence of discrimination, racism, and inequality in North Dakota. Sounds like a hypocrite.

The Smear of Rep. Gail Mooney

“Democrat Legislator Says Kevin Cramer Makes Her Want To Take A Shower,” the Port headline begs for attention.

If she DIDN’T feel like a shower, it would be a concern.

“This morning she had a run-in with Rep. Kevin Cramer,” says Port, if a run-in means standing in the same line for coffee.

It doesn’t.

Then, he writes, “…you’d think someone elected to public office would avoid such childish antics in a public venue.” Representative Mooney didn’t do anything in public, unless a childish antic is standing in line for coffee.

It’s not.

And, watching synthetic Cramer “flirting” with the barista in his typical smarmy fashion, lots of people would feel like taking a shower. I would. Whenever I see the Congressmen talk, or hear his latest words of lunacy, I feel the need for a good soak.


It’s hardly a scandal, but Port often runs out of real material. He finishes the brilliant blog post with, “But there’s a lot of hate out there. Which is unfortunate.”

If Port wants to see some hate, all he has to do is read the anonymous comments under this, and every other, horse$#!* set of paragraphs, the nit-wit scribbles. As moderator, Port never shuts down the stone cold bigots and misogynists.

The Smear of Michelle Obama

I can about see Port’s eyes get big. OMG! The Obama’s are commies, and he’ll be the first to connect the dots. Maybe he’ll get to meet Tucker Carlson. What a rube.

The Christian Science Monitor, Salon and CNN sort out this embarrassment for the eelport.

“On a trip to Washington, conservative talk show host and blogger Rob Port took a tour of the White House, and while there he saw something that he found alarming. On a shelf in the White House library he spied two books titled “The American Socialist Movement, 1897-1912” and “The Socialist Party of America.” — Christian Science Monitor

Burn them! I’m alarmed!

“By itself, (the placement of the books in the library] wouldn’t be that big of a deal,” Port admitted. “But in the context of Anita Dunn (White House Communications Director from April through November 2009) saying Chairman Mao is her favorite political philosopher? In the context of the Mao ornament on the White House Christmas tree? In the context of Obama’s economic policies? Well, I’ll let you make your own call.” — Christian Science Monitor

My call is that you’re a delusional oddball, Port.

“In reality, Fox News itself noted that the “first lady’s office says local community groups were asked to decorate hundreds of ornaments but that they are unaware of these specific decorations.” — Salon


“The blog speedily picked up comments and links and looked to be on its way to creating a small firestorm before The Washington Post stepped in. “The only problem is the books Port photographed have been sitting in the library since 1963,” the Post reported. “The library came into being during the presidency of Franklin Roosevelt. In 1961, First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy asked Yale University librarian James T. Babb to oversee a committee that would select books for the library. In 1963, 1,780 were placed on the shelves.” — Christian Science Monitor


Among those 1,780 books selected in 1963 were the two socialist titles that drew Port’s attention. Apparently they have been sitting quietly on the White House shelves for several decades now, including throughout the administrations of Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, and George W. Bush.”

“The use of the phrase ‘favorite political philosophers’ was intended as irony, but clearly the effort fell flat — at least with a certain Fox commentator whose sense of irony may be missing.” — Anita Dunn; CNN

“War is politics with blood; politics is war without blood,” (Newt) Gingrich said, citing Mao.  — CNN

“Karl Rove, another Fox News contributor, wrote in a December 2008 Wall Street Journal op-ed that President Bush “encouraged me to read a Mao biography.” —CNN

Whoops. Bibliophobia, the fear of books, can be treated, Portugall, with the proper therapy.

One of the Many Smears of Kylie Oversen

“For Some Reason Democrat Legislator Kylie Oversen Recognized By The Washington Post.” A jealous headline. Always a wise choice.

“I don’t want to be too mean to Rep. Kylie Oversen, a Democrat representing District 42 in the state House, but I had to laugh when I read that the Washington Post had named her to their Top 40 Under 40 list.”

Port always has to laugh at something, or another. That’s odd, since he doesn’t have a sense of humor. He could have Tourettes. That would explain a few things.

“The list is supposed to denote rising political stars across the nation, and apparently someone at the Post thought Oversen qualified. But you have to wonder why.”

I have to wonder why anyone would think Port is qualified for anything, but I don’t about Oversen.

Here’s why?

Rob Port’s resume.

Kylie Oversen’s resume.


The Smear of (now Senator) Erin Oban

“In Key Legislative Race North Dakota Democrat Erin Oban Avoids Abortion Issue,” reads the Port headline, to which most people would say, so what? Who doesn’t?

But there’s more!

“She’s also the wife of Democrat Party executive director Chad Oban, which is what makes this ad kind of hilarious. While her husband is out on the campaign trail throwing partisan bombs and accusing Republicans of being extremists (remember when he blamed a reservation death on legislative Republicans?), Oban is trying to position herself as a political moderate.”

Weasel thinks everything is funny. And has he never seen a political campaign before? All (almost) candidates use surrogates to handle the delicate topics, and to chew on the tibia of the opponent. Tossing around “partisan” explosives, and calling an ideological zealot, such as Port, an extremist is mandatory and barrels of fun.

“She says she’s willing to represent Republicans and Democrats, but those words ring hollow given her husband’s vocation.”

It could be an inner ear infection, Port, if the ringing doesn’t stop, but I don’t care.

And the Oban woman wanted to marry a lumberjack. It’s been her dream since childhood, but there aren’t enough trees to warrant a full time cutter, jacker or saw jockey. So that fantasy was shot to hell. She moved on.

We have a dude with an old pickup and a hefty chainsaw. He also DJ’s wedding dances and ritualistic killings. He does a fine job.

The Smear of the Fargo Forum

I didn’t laugh. I was amused.

“Last year the Fargo Forum took a bribe from the George Soros-funded Center for Public Integrity to help produce a study claiming North Dakota was one of the states in the nation most at-risk for corruption. How much did the Forum take? They’re not telling, but this ridiculous study also managed to conclude that the state least at-risk for corruption was … New Jersey.”

That’s not what the study says, but poor effort, Port. States were ranked for having procedures in place for a transparent government meant to prevent corruption, but cannot account for the immorality of people, such as the eagerness to lie, and mislead. New Jersey tries. North Dakota doesn’t.

“That just screams “credibility,” doesn’t it?” screams the protector of the good old boys club.

Compared to your last sentence, Rob? Yes.

“Anyway, that the study was simply laying the groundwork for a push for ethics reforms by Democrats is clear to anyone who was paying attention. And, indeed, the Fargo Forum reports today (without mentioning the aforementioned bribe, way to be ethical fellas) that Democrats have introduced a raft of new policies addressing transparency which would be implemented over through several different bills.”

Is Port talking about the Fargo Forum that almost exclusively endorses Republican candidates, or the Fargo Forum that hired a blogger hack from Minot?

Showers for the house!

Release Your Transcript, Port

Questions have come up concerning Port’s time at North Dakota State University. Was it measured with a stopwatch, or a calendar? Many people would love to see the transcripts from Rob’s two days, two months or two semesters. I sure would, so I call on Port to publish the records. Hitting enter, when the information is true, could be a cathartic experience for the little scamp.

One thought on “RON SCHALOW: Port Whine, Part 3 — Blusterbum”

  • Mike Quinn August 7, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    Rob Port is the sorrowful result of North Dakota newspapers too cheap to pay for real writing or journalist. Rob is the bastard child of Rush Limbaugh, and Kelly Ann Conway. Why Port is not featured as a guest on KFYR radio is a mystery. Port is a key in the Fox News, Rush echo chamber.


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