Unheralded

PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — A Strategy For Surviving These Trying Times

It is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I am a citizen of a country whose leader is taking rogue actions, like assassinating a foreign general — albeit an evil one — without informing, to say nothing of having the support of allies or members of Congress. In addition, President Trump has been impeached for abusing power and withholding aid from …


Unheralded

PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — Explosive Theology

Sometimes it is necessary to dig deeper behind the news story to really understand what is going on. I truly believe that is what is happening with the escalation of our conflict with Iran and to be honest, it is even more terrifying than it initially appears. The missing backstory to this warmongering is the belief by many evangelical Christians …


PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — You Promote What You Permit

You can tell a lot about a person’s character by how they respond to adversity. Implying the spouse of someone who voted to impeach you is in hell is reprehensible at any time, but when you are at a rally where you say you are celebrating Christmas, it goes beyond any form of human decency. I truly and deeply do …

RON SCHALOW: Lately In Trump Dakota

Like the humble Rob Port, who brags that his defunct blog was “part of the fabric” (Only argali wool thread for Rep. Rick Becker) of “politics in North Dakota,” the unassuming Donald Trump also can’t be steam-cleaned out of the democratic socialist manufactured couch sitting by the capitalist Coke machine in the breakroom of our socialist State Mill. That’s because …

RON SCHALOW: Refugees Face Trumpish Disinformation Campaign

Me: To whom it may concern: I’m reprinting these unambiguous words I found on the Lutheran Social Services website. I found them. They were merely laying there on the internet. Anyone could have grasped them, but few of the self-appointed experts did. I have no association with LSS, but “Jebus Jay Jones,” desperate people! At least pretend to look contemptuously, …

RON SCHALOW: Trump Love Makes Armstrong Stupid

On Wednesday, North Dakota Congressman Kelly Armstrong (Cult45 —Bastiat Chapter) found his inner Kevin Cramer and spat out this chewed up olive pit: “We have the alleged victim of quid pro quo, bribery, extortion — whatever we’re dealing with now today — repeatedly and adamantly shouting from the rooftops that he never felt pressure, that he was not the victim …

RON SCHALOW: Part 2 of ‘Washington State Opts Out Of Bakken Oil Train Lotto’

A door-to-door custom news talker — one think minimum — begins his commentary: “North Dakota, North Dakota, it’s coming to me, OK, in North Dakota news, Gov. Doug Burgum — honorary chair of Donald Trump 2020 — either did something humane or made an empty gesture. More after this.” “Hey dumbass. I told you ‘no’ commercials.” “It was a PSA, man. Geez. So anyway, …

RON SCHALOW: Trump Gang Of Invertebrates Retools Messaging

“As some of you may have noticed before the formalities took the cocktail weenies right out of my mouth, I’m presently talking more like a normal person to give my jowls a rest. Do not be alarmed. It’s not easy to mimic the look of having no bones or teeth below the nose. Just lips and skin. It makes me …

PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — A Discordant Melody That Refuses To Be Silenced

Today we crossed the border and entered into the reality of the struggles of those who live in Juarez, Mexico, and those who are forced to wait there as they seek asylum. It was a short trip across the river and a long journey into the depths of human pain. It was hard to comprehend that the squalor in Juarez …

RON SCHALOW: Why Won’t Kelly Armstrong Leak Testimony?

What the hell is going on? Why isn’t Congressman Kelly Armstrong patriotically leaking the great impeachment news — that the lamestream media refuses to report — that would exonerate Donald Trump of airtight charges stemming from a super successful witch hunt? The congressman is sitting right there as the “never Trumpers” testify. It’s the least he can do if he were …

CLAY JENKINSON: The Jefferson Watch — The Republic On The Brink Of Collapse

“Checks and balances, Mr. Jefferson. Checks and balances,” said John Adams. We are only a republic if each of the three branches of the national government has some capacity to check the excesses of one or both of the other two. The Founding Fathers sought to ensure that no single individual or entity would ever have unlimited, unchecked power. The …

RON SCHALOW: Trump Leadership Turns North Dakota Into A Swing State

In the year 2000, the Supreme Court installed George W. Bush into the presidency and it blew the call in multiple ways. Bush was/is an intellectual wisp in his own family, a lazy POTUS and easily manipulated by sociopathic jamokes like Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Roger Ailes and Dick Cheney.  When the Supremes stopped the count and the bizarre chad …

RON SCHALOW: North Dakota’s Special K’s Always Have Donnie T’s Back

Well, we watched our right-wing terror network working out some frustration in El Paso, Texas, plus the American terrorists currently listed as agnostic that shot up Gilroy, Calif., Dayton, Ohio, and those coming soon to your neck of the woods. And that was on top of our regular body count. Flags were lowered. The usual suspects drew their swords in …

RON SCHALOW: Kelly Armstrong Sells Out America

“This isn’t about political affiliation,” Congressman Kelly Armstrong told Chuck Todd with a straight face after A-Stro questioned Robert Mueller’s military hero grade integrity in front of a national audience. The Cult Commissioner told Kelly to “hit the old man in the face with a dead squid.” The live ones can get unruly and might swallow a cat. So he …

RON SCHALOW: We’ll Leave If We Feel Like It

I’m even praying for this next sentence to be true. Except for the obvious exceptions, every person in the country knows that they’ve always been free to leave, and none of us need a cowardly lying racist to shoot his mouth off with reminders. And the president isn’t the arbiter of who loves this country, anyway. He can’t even choose …

RON SCHALOW: Trump Is The Greatest America Hater

Hot off the press, from the president who gives racist conmen a bad name: “IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY HERE, YOU CAN LEAVE! It is your choice, and your choice alone. This is about love for America. Certain people HATE our Country …” This is one of those big lies you hear about since nobody in this country hates America …

TERRY DULLUM: The Dullum File — Water Work

After President Trump’s slightly soggy Fourth of July “Salute to America” speech Thursday on the Washington Mall, a Facebook friend writes, “THE GREATEST SPEECH EVER MADE BY A SITTING PRESIDENT!!!” (Capitalization and exclamation points not added.) So, I guess for some “The Gettysburg Address” will ring a little flat from now on. And you know what that means, don’t you? …

PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — This Is Who We Have Become

Sometimes, things can be just too painful to read. I had that feeling as I was reading “Lilac Girls,” the work of historical fiction by Martha Hall Kelly that tells the real life story of New York sociality Caroline Ferriday, who championed a group of women known as “The Rabbits” who survived the horrors of Ravensbruck, a Nazi concentration camp …

PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — God Or Mammon?

To whom or what are you loyal? That really is the core question we are grappling with as a nation. Where do your core loyalties lie? Are you more concerned with power or loyalty to a person or are you loyal to a higher ideal? As a person of faith, I know my first loyalty is always to God, and …

RON SCHALOW: Republicans Are Working Against Our Future

A weird child tells Piers Morgan the darndest things about his just-funny-to-him meeting with Prince Charles: “I think I was yeah, we had a great conversation and it was about you would call it climate change but yeah I think we had a very very good conversation.” — Donald J. Trump We “all” call it climate change, Fonzie. Global warming is …

PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — How Do We Honor The Dead?

As I walked my dog by the Catholic cemetery that borders my condo Monday morning, I heard echoes of Taps ring through the air and reflected on the dead who were being honored this past Memorial Day Weekend — men and women who gave their lives in service to our country and its highest ideals. How do we honor the …

CLAY JENKINSON: The Jefferson Watch — The U.S. Senate: The Backbone Of A Chocolate Eclair

We have been living for a very long time with the idea of executive supremacy. Some misguided attorneys have argued, since the presidency of George W. Bush, for what they like to call the Unitary Executive. By this they mean that the power of the president is virtually unlimited not only throughout the executive branch of government but in the …

RON SCHALOW: We Can’t Put This One Behind Us

At present, I’m getting outwitted by a militant parade of drunken white walker zombie ants. Collectively they might have a comparable number of brain cells to what I’m currently sporting, but who knows? I don’t know how the wattage works between species. Anyway, there could be a googol of the nosy insects in their Casselton, N.D., colony and the “Mad …

RON SCHALOW: Trump Uses Federal Reserve To Launder Money

“How did you do the laundering, Mr. President?” “You see that? Pimento loaf-face press hack just harassed me. I, Donald J,  like the word jay. Trump. It’s the most shameful thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life, and nobody knows more about shameful things than me, believe me. Tremendous high ceilings. It might be the most shameful thing ever, some …

TOM DAVIES: The Verdict — We Need To Refocus

You know, local newspapers and electronic media do a pretty good job of keeping us informed on local events. On national events, not so much. Take, for instance, the case of Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, a Democrat. He is accused of, has admitted to and then disavowed being in a picture in the 1984 yearbook of Eastern Virginia Medical School. …

PAULA MEHMEL: Shoot the Rapids — Smirk Seen ‘Round The World

It is the smirk that haunts me. That self-satisfied, smug, arrogant look of condescension and feeling of superiority, for no reason other than the fact that he is privileged white boy wearing a red hat that claims that he wants to “Make America Great Again.” The story of Nathan Phillips, the Vietnam veteran and Omaha elder who chose to stand …

CLAY JENKINSON: The Jefferson Watch — Jefferson’s Second American Revolution

Every era faces its own set of issues, and every president attempts to address the challenges and opportunities of American life and to reset the country to the extent that it is possible. It was easier to influence what Jefferson called “the course of human events” back then because we were just beginning. Decisions made then were going to percolate …

TONY J BENDER: That’s Life — Self-Reflection

I begin today in a self-reflective state of mind at the urging of Kevin Cramer, who took umbrage over criticisms of Precedent Trump’s un-Christianlike behavior at George H. W. Bush’s funeral. Trump didn’t sing, recite the Apostles’ Creed, or offer Michelle Obama even one piece of candy. Apparently, he was fearful of violating her nutritional guidelines. Since she left Washington, …

RON SCHALOW: No, I’m Not Surprised

“Is anyone surprised by this?” It’s one of the most-used phrases on social media when the news pertains to Trump, It’s easy and always applicable. Would anyone be surprised by the possibility of the following?: “I got an A-plus for my handling of Hurricane Maria, but some low-energy losers blame me for people dying on Porto Recliner. A lot of …

TONY J BENDER: That’s Life — Thanksgiving Quiz

Hey slackers, did you really think you were going to get away without a current events review before the semester ends? Oh, no — Jim Acosta is back, so you know the fake news spigot is going to be running wide open. Pull up a desk, kids, stow the cell phone, grab a No. 2 pencil, eyes straight ahead and …

RON SCHALOW: Trump Calls His Right-Wing Terrorists To War

Last week, our president stated the following: “These people, like the Antifa — they better hope that the opposition to Antifa decides not to mobilize. Because if they do, they’re much tougher. Much stronger. Potentially much more violent. And Antifa’s going to be in big trouble. “Because if you look, the other side, it’s the military. It’s the police. It’s …

RON SCHALOW: Does North Dakota Really Need Rob Port?

“Does North Dakota Really Need Democrats?” read Rob Port’s headline on the Fargo Forum’s Sayanythingblog. At first, I hoped he didn’t waste a lot of time coming up with that stupid question. Then I realized the Port is probably one of those stable geniuses who ask stupid questions. A game-changer. Let’s discuss this. First of all, is it Democrats like …

RON SCHALOW: Politics Of Race And Fear Gave Cramer The Win

There were plenty of reasons that would provoke a normal North Dakotan to vote for the bigoted puffy suit of peacock feathers known as Kevin Cramer over the impossibly more competent, intelligent and productive Heidi Heitkamp. Mainly it was the letter behind Heitkamp’s name that was a provocation. Cramer had no record, so he relied on the letter “T” for …

RON SCHALOW: Blogger Without A Cause

“If Heidi Heitkamp loses, what is Forum columnist Rob Port going to write about over the next six years?” — Jim Shaw It’s always the kids who suffer the most unless they’re surrounded by metal chain-link fencing which is as insufferable as it gets according to senator to be Kevin Cramer an expert on child confinement for some reason. After six …

CLAY JENKINSON: The Midterm Election Of 2018

So what did the midterm election of 2018 tell us? I’m going to try to make sense of it from a purely analytical view. If, as President Trump said repeatedly, he was on the ballot in 2018, the results are mixed. The election was certainly not a ringing endorsement of his character, behavior, policies and the first two years of …

RON SCHALOW: Cramer Approves All Trump Messages Or What A Fool Believes 

“A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.” — Alexander Hamilton Years ago, when walking down Main Street in Minot — it’s really on an incline — I regularly saw an unfortunate man with baggy gray pants and suspenders who angrily yelled at parked cars. Had I promised to support anything the short old man said or did, …

RON SCHALOW: Super Crump Bred To Scare Gullible White People Out Of Their Bejeebers

And some of their money. Bejeebers can be had for a small bag of low-quality spring garage sand. No dust will be accepted until further notice. GEORGE SOROS BUYS MONTANA!!! Kevin Cramer has sold himself as the thrift-sized Donald Trump. He has also taken the Cult45 oath and gently handed the rose to a forever blushing Donnie T. So there …

RON SCHALOW: Cramer Calculates 10 Percent Slogan Edge Using Magic Trump Math

One of the features of Trump University alternate mathematics is the ability to optionally count invisible people, a revolutionary new system of viewing numerals and other math adjacent quotients. Kevin Cramer evidently clicked on “other.” Anyway, on a  nationally broadcast political show, Showtime’s “The Circus,” Cramer told John Heilemann “… if it happens that Donald Trump is right for North …

RON SCHALOW: Kevin The Debate Smirker

The congressman stood behind the podium talking in circles, grinning like a meerkat pup that just got the better of his first scorpion, and the crunchy bugger would make a fine breakfast burrito. Then, the smug miniature mongoose of the desert smirked, smarmed and sniggered for 60 minutes after the meal, as is the custom of his holy family. That …

TONY J BENDER: That’s Life — Pre-Election Quiz

I don’t know if you’ve been following along but there’s this thing 58 percent of Americans do the first Tuesday of November. And no, it’s not check the mailbox for a welfare check as some might have you believe. It’s called it an election, although some people refer to them as train wrecks. The last election should have been sponsored …

TOM DAVIES: The Verdict — Interrogation Gone Wrong?

Saudi journalist and U.S. resident Jamal Khashoggi was murdered in the Saudi Consulate. President Trump told America that the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia “forcefully denies the killing.” President Trump then went on to say there may have been “rogue killers” involved and said he was waiting for information. That’s another presidential lie, since Turkey has made clear it shared …

RON SCHALOW: Congressman Changes Name To Kevin Kanye Trump IX

“Where are the Cool Ranch Doritos?” barks Donald Trump. “This is the worst disaster in the history of disasters. Maybe ever.” “Bottom left drawer.” “Oh, thanks, Eyebrow. I wonder what other presidents used this drawer for? Probably alcohol and cocaine powder. This country is a mess. Obama must have been one lubed up skinny Kenyan from shithole Africa, believe me. …

RON SCHALOW: But Kevin, What If It Was Your Daughter?

Based on his related comments, it’s hard not to imagine a Kevin Cramer conversation with a sexual assault survivor that doesn’t go something like this. A Cramer-related female rushes in the front door, and yells, “Father, er, sir, I’ve been attacked.” Cramer doesn’t look up. “Who are you?” He continues smiling down on a photo of him trying to give …

TOM DAVIES: The Verdict — This Is My Country, And I’ll Vote

At the risk of losing her Senate seat, Sen. Heidi Heitkamp, D-N.D., cast a true and heartfelt “NO” vote on the nomination of Brent Kavanaugh to a lifetime position on the U.S. Supreme Court. She is an attorney, has served as North Dakota attorney general, has dealt with Native American issues and sex trafficking and has broad, solid legal experience. …