I’ve been feeling a little left out lately. In fact, I have been for some time now.
See, just about everywhere a person goes on the internet there are conspiracy theories popping up. And I’ve never been able to get behind some of the most popular of them. You know, the ones about aliens, the Earth being flat, who was really behind John F. Kennedy’s assassination and the 9/11 attacks and world domination in general.
So, I’ve come up with a few of my own I’ve been “researching.” I present them to you now for your perusal, if not approval. Just don’t expect any verification from me.
- Conspiracy Theory No. 1: As a child, Hillary Clinton had a gerbil that only lived just two years. FYI: The average gerbil lives three years.
- Conspiracy Theory No. 2: Kale is people!
- Conspiracy Theory No. 3: Barack Obama once wore a tan suit AFTER Labor Day.
- Conspiracy Theory No. 4: Michelle Obama once ate an entire bacon cheeseburger and fries at the White House, passing up a plate of crudités.
- Conspiracy Theory No. 5: Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and actress Amy Schumer had a secret “family” meeting on Thanksgiving Day 2018.
- Conspiracy Theory No. 6: The 1979 Disco Demolition Night at “Comiskey Park” in Chicago was actually faked on a Hollywood soundstage.