Unheralded

RON SCHALOW: Of Course, He Did

Well, at least he didn’t kiss the brutal dictator on the lips and/or grab him by his small organ. That’s something, I suppose. He didn’t sniff Kim’s butt, as far as we know. The action is tough to translate.

Instead, our president just slobbered up a storm and beamed radiantly like a teen dork picking up his best girl. This Kim Jong-un character is quite the looker. Anyone can see that. He favors a young Raymond Burr in the dark.

Unconventionally handsome, one person might have said, before being tossed into a superornate pit crawling with 13 skinny Himalayan Hairy crocs. Very rare. Not the execution. The reptiles. When KJ slides on those shades, he can get anything. Because he is a ruthless tyrant. Not due to the cool sunglasses.

There might be seven people in all of North Korea, who given the chance, wouldn’t beat “Big Boy’s” twin brother to death with a Dennis Rodman sock full of D-cells. Batteries not included. And Rodman can be a little squirrely, especially if he’s wearing the sock you need. A length of lead pipe is probably a better choice.

But Trump didn’t even lunge at the murderous, torturing, people-starving, shaved panda a-hole. Dough boy could have merely tipped over on the garden gnome and ended him in a splat. But DJT was too busy saluting doormen.

Did he see the concentration camps as features or bugs? The starving people? Not that impressive. Hell, we have those, and kids in cages, too.

The Donald actually admired the mini murderer and marveled at North Koreans sitting up at attention when in KJ’s presence and wishes “his” people would do the same. Some do. They’re called white nationalists. Most of them look like POTUS son, Eric. It’s not pretty.

Did they strike the deal Trump promised? No. Was it at least as good as the Iranian nuclear deal, chipmunk chins tossed in the trash? Not by a long shot.

But the Iranian deal was a really bad deal. Trump said so. He should know. He’s screwed thousands of people. Donnie declared the Iran deal the worst deal since the Flintstones — it’s on right before Fox & Friends — bought that car with no engine. Dim bulb thinks all of the missing parts should have been an obvious deal breaker for Fred. Like he’s ever driven a car — or looked under a hood.

The worst deal ever in the world, ever. Ever! It was 159 pages, so I don’t how a semiliterate like the doofus would know what was in it, but it took more than two fat guys with a sharpie to hammer out the details over a bucket of chicken.

The Iranian nuclear deal, also known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action because that is what it is called, took a zillion smart people 12 years to formulate.

So, meanwhile:

The ocean is full of plastic, as are the inhabitants of the sea. The plastic breaks down into tiny fragments and absorb toxins in the water. Fish and birds are full of the stuff. Humans who eat the fish also ingest the toxins, which can also be referred to as poisons.

Things like that don’t bother the puffy POTUS. It’s more handsome — and younger — leaders, like Justin Trudeau, that really get on his nerves.

Besides, Donnie is made up of 37 percent plastic. It’s a little known fact. He used to get a little overaggressive when McD’s Quarter Pounders were sold in foam containers. It could happen to barely anyone. Anyway, you can tell by the 4-pound tensile monofilament fishing line that thrusts out and tangles on his head.

Most regions of the ocean are overfished. The trawlers with huge nets trap everything in their path, including bycatch, the incidental but inevitable capture or killing of non target species such as dolphins, sea turtles, sharks, rays, seabirds, whales and porpoises. Also, fish too small for processing that deplete the species even further. And critters that make up the food supply of other species. It’s not good.

Just so the ignorant McAss can have a cheap McFish. His precious boys like to shoot rare land mammals, for fun, so dingus has taught them well.

As for global warming, which is caused by man, dipshits like 45 and Kevin Cramer don’t believe it, since they can’t digest complicated information, plus they were told not to believe it. These clowns are more concerned about bathroom usage, even though the pervert-in-chief used to just walk into teen female dressing rooms and peep up close.

Most of the carbon dioxide that is emitted into the air has been absorbed by the oceans and have acidified the water, which kills coral reefs that are the nurseries of the sea.

And most people know that the oceans are warming and rising. We’ve already seen the extra-powerful weather disasters fueled by the warmer air and water. Many citizens have died, but DJ tossed out some paper towels, so his ass is covered.

Those are just a few of the problems with the water that covers most the Earth. Harm to the oceans will eventually harm us all. It certainly will be expensive.

Our land-based issues aren’t any better, but those problems can wait because we’re in North Dakota, which is in the United States of Trump, where the future is a liberal concept.

More importantly, mister beluga whale carcass endorsed Congressman Lite in a Tweet. Bigot Cramer was giddy, but more compliments were showered on Kim Jong-un by the mad grifter, which most humans would call a red flag.

Kevin will need to kill a few thousand liberals, and starve some children, before he gets any real respect from the sleaze.

And since we can’t go a full hour without a Trump scandal, it turns out that he solicited money for charitable purposes, but used the loot for personal use.

Of course, he did.




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